Unstoppable Mindset
How to Use What You Have to Get What You Want
I love Alden Mills. I’m not sure how we connected but I’m very happy we did. I read his first book, Be Unstoppable, years ago. I read it by myself first, then I read it with Emerson. Then I read his second book Unstoppable Teams and we even produced a class on it with Alden called Unstoppable Teams 101. This book is PACKED with great stories about (and Big Ideas from!) his Navy SEAL training days and his time as a Navy SEAL Platoon Commander along with great stories/Ideas from his entrepreneurial days as the Founder/CEO of an Inc. 500 fastest growing company AND as a devoted father of four boys. I’m excited to share a few of my favorites so let’s jump straight in!
Big Ideas
- Why Goals MatterWhy They Matter.
- The Two Competing Voices: the Whiner vs. The WinnerThe Whiner vs. The Winner.
- Opening Your Can of Whoop-AssTime to Open It.
- Make a Mistake? Say: “Not Me!”Say: “NOT Me!”
- The Moment Versus the Mountainvs. The Mountain.
“Adopting an Unstoppable Mindset means living a life where everything that you face is an opportunity to gain more pleasure—pleasure from learning, from getting stronger, from conquering obstacles, from doing things that have not been done before, from serving and helping others. To live that life, you must embrace a few simple mindset beliefs: we are imperfect, obstacles are opportunities, and we always have the final say in what we decide to do.
An Unstoppable Mindset enables you to tap into the power of your mind to make the choices that move you closer to the success you seek. Unstoppable Mindset is not just a step-by-step guide to help you chart your own course to success, but also a repository of inspiration with which to face and overcome fear along the way. Use this book as your guide to help you chart your course for new, bold destinations.
You are taking action by reading this book, and you are planning a course to change your life in all kinds of positive ways by coming to the realization that you are more capable than you know and you have untold power you have yet to apply. Navy SEAL Teams are made up of the smallest teams, each called a swim pair—two people—two swim buddies. I am now your swim buddy. I am here to help you activate your potential. I cannot wait to watch you soar. The world needs you at your best. Let’s link arms, enter the water, and go build an Unstoppable Mindset!”
~ Alden Mills from Unstoppable Mindset
I love Alden Mills. I’m not sure how we connected but I’m very happy we did.
I read his first book, Be Unstoppable, years ago. I read it by myself first, then I read it with Emerson. It’s FANTASTIC. (Alden wrote it for his four boys. Your kids will love it!) (NEGU!)
Then I read his second book Unstoppable Teams and we even produced a class on it with Alden called Unstoppable Teams 101. (Check it out!)
So, when he told me he was writing this book and asked me if I’d write a little blurb for him, I told him: “ABSOLUTELY!”
Here’s the blurb I wrote that happens to be on the back cover of the book: “In Unstoppable Mindset, Alden Mills tells us that we are more powerful than we realize, then gives us a practical, step-by-step guide to activate our Heroic potential. I highly recommend this book for everyone looking to forge the mindset we need to make a difference in the world.”
(That’s a pretty good overview if I say so myself. (Hah!))
The book is PACKED with great stories about (and Big Ideas from!) his Navy SEAL training days and his time as a Navy SEAL Platoon Commander along with great stories/Ideas from his entrepreneurial days as the Founder/CEO of an Inc. 500 fastest growing company AND as a devoted father of four boys.
I’m excited to share a few of my favorite Ideas so let’s jump straight in!
P.S. As I read this book, I thought of wisdom from another dear friend who happens to be another former Navy SEAL, Mark Divine. Mark’s book Unbeatable Mind is one of my all-time favorite mental toughness books. Check out those Notes plus our Notes on The Way of the SEAL and Staring Down the Wolf.
Download MP3
Download PDFTo Be Unstoppable doesn’t mean you have never been stopped. It means you have been stopped and you know how to keep going, and that is what we are doing here together—learning to Be Unstoppable when we make mistakes and encounter obstacles.
Get the BookWhy Goals Matter
“The purpose of this book is to help you achieve something you aren’t sure you can accomplish. It’s meant to help you manifest that figment of your imagination called a dream into trackable goals that eventually become your new reality. This chapter identifies and discusses the four steps of converting a dream into a goal. Goals matter because the process of defining and executing on your goals gives you focus, accountability, and clarity.
There are five important reasons goals matter, and I have made an acronym to help you remember their importance. I call the acronym GOALS, and here is what it stands for:
G—Give direction: goals give direction. …
O—Offer accountability: the process of setting a goal spurs us to create accountability for pursuing it. …
A—Achieve more: people who set goals achieve more because they are more focused with their time. …
L—Learn more: when you set a goal, you are setting yourself up for continually learning from how to achieve the goal more efficiently and learning how to overcome the obstacles that come with a goal. …
S—Serve as motivation: goals act as motivation.”
That’s from Chapter #1: “What Is an Unstoppable Mindset?” sub-section: “Why Goals Matter.”
First, know this: Alden is an acronym creating MACHINE. He starts with this one on “GOALS” and we’ll highlight another one of my favorites from this book soon.
Before we talk about Alden’s best Ideas on how to achieve our goals, let’s go back to the main acronym from his first book on how to Be Unstoppable.
That acronym is UPERSIST—which, as we discuss in those Notes, captures the eight essential actions to becoming a Master and Commander of our own lives. Here’s the quick look...
U = Understand Your Why.
It all starts with knowing your WHY. Without a strong why, there’s no way (!) we will persist through the inevitable storms in life.
P = Plan in 3-D.
Once we have our Why identified, we need to map out our plan. In 3 Dimensions: 1. Define it. 2. Divide it. 3. Do it daily.
E = Exercise to Execute.
The key variable to executing our plan? The ability to sustain hard work over an extended period of time. Alden makes the case that EXERCISE is the way to build the engine of effort to help us do our best and tackle our big dreams.
R = Recognize Your Reason to Believe.
Alden tells us we need to create small wins, and use that progress to build self-confidence. We need to see those small wins as “reasons to believe” we can achieve our big goals.
S = Survey Your Habits.
We need to take a look at what’s getting in the way of our success. We need to “survey our habits” to see what’s working and what’s not. Do more of the good stuff, eliminate the not-so-good stuff. Repeat. Forever.
I = Improvise to Overcome Obstacles.
Our plans will never be perfect. We will ALWAYS (but only always) face obstacles when we chase big goals. When that happens, it’s time to improvise. Try different approaches. Learn from mistakes. Persist till you figure it out.
S = Seek Expert Advice.
We need to own the fact that we’re never going to be great at everything. When we don’t know something, it’s time to seek out expert advice.
T = Team Up.
In addition to seeking out expert advice, we want to team up with people whose strengths complement our weaknesses. And we stay motivated with our big, shared Why. Nothing great was ever achieved alone so it’s time to team up and rock it.
U.P.E.R.S.I.S.T. If you want to Be Unstoppable, yoU’ve gotta PERSIST! :)
Now it’s time to chat about how to go about forging an Unstoppable Mindset so we can turn our dreams into a reality.
Until the fear of staying put is greater than the fear of moving in the direction of your goal, you will stay put.
Dreaming is a muscle—it requires practice and will atrophy without consistent exercise. The good news is, dreaming is like riding a bike. You did it as a child, and you can do it again as an adult, but you must try.
There are very, very few things in life we can control, but those few can determine our direction. Your attitude is one of the single most important things you can control, and if you are not careful, you will let others influence and sometimes even control your attitude for you.
The Two Competing Voices: the Whiner vs. The Winner
“Instructor Half Butt emphasized the importance of ‘the conversation’—the internal struggle between believing we can or cannot achieve something. This dialogue was crucial in deciding whether to commit to the challenges of SEAL training and the sacrifices required to reach our goals. He made it clear that success wasn’t complicated; it was simply hard.
Years later, I named the two voices in this conversation the Whiner and the Winner. Regardless of the situation, these voices arise in us when we attempt something new or challenging. If we are not careful, we will allow the Whiner to initiate a chain reaction within our Mindset Loop where negative thoughts will influence our focus and reinforce negative beliefs that will doom our ability to take successful actions toward our goal. Remember that our thoughts, focus, and beliefs determine our direction. The challenge lies in overcoming the Whiner’s fear-driven arguments against pursuing our dreams, which are full of uncertainty and require sacrifice. Learning to take charge of these voices is what I call mindsetting—an active management of owning the necessary thoughts that positively influence our focus and beliefs to help us succeed.”
That’s from Chapter #3 on “Mindsetting.”
As you may have noticed (wink ;), there’s a nonstop battle going on between a couple of competing voices in our heads.
Alden calls them “The Whiner” and “The Winner.” In his great book, Staring Down the Wolf, Mark Divine calls them “The Courage Wolf” and “The Fear Wolf.”
I like to call those two voices “The Daimon” and “The Demon.”
Recall: Our “daimon” is our guiding spirit—the voice of the best version of us. The word demon is simply the diminutive of daimon.
The question, of course, is simple... Which voice are YOU allowing to run the show?
As Alden says later in the same chapter: “My empowering voice was the Winner. This voice is often difficult to hear because the Whiner, fueled by fear, is so obnoxiously loud. The Whiner bombards you with all its various voices of fear. However, the Winner’s driving force—the emotion of love—can overcome the Whiner but it requires your awareness of the stakes at the moment. The Whiner seeks immediacy of the moment such as ‘stop the pain,’ ‘avoid extra effort,’ ‘take the easy path.’ The Winner is focused on the longer-term pleasure of what the moment might provide you. It is important to understand the power source of the two competing voices: fear and love. The Whiner is grounded by fear while the Winner is fueled by love.”
Here’s to choosing LOVE over Fear as we listen to the Winning voice of our Daimons all day, every day, especially... TODAY.
P.S. Later in the book Alden offers this GENIUS practical tool to help us listen to the right voice.
He tells us: “Here is a simple exercise I want you to practice now and until your last breath. It involves asking yourself (and your teammates) a very simple question: ‘Is this thought helpful or hurtful to what I am/we are trying to accomplish?’
My boys hear me asking them this question all the time, especially when they are expressing some E-Motions such as ‘I am no good at this,’ ‘My team sucks,’ ‘I’m not going to early morning practice because other teammates aren’t either,’ or ‘Why should I be the only one working so hard?’ My response to these and so many more E-Motions is asking them, ‘Boys, is that thought helpful or hurtful [toward helping you achieve your goal]?’ I say it so frequently to them, the question is now abbreviated: ‘Helpful or hurtful?’”
Remember: My singular focus in sharing this knowledge is to help you take the next action toward your success—it is the next action that matters. There is no need to worry about a series of future actions. I want you to focus on just the next helpful action you can take.
He [Alden’s dad] turned back to me and said, ‘I have one thing I can offer: when you get stuck, give . . . Give all you have.’ ... He turned to me and repeated with tears in his eyes, ‘You got it? When stuck, give—just go give, okay?’ He hugged me and left.
Opening Your Can of Whoop-Ass
“Before every Navy SEAL mission, the platoon commander and his chief petty officer (the senior enlisted man) perform a platoon inspection. No two missions are the same, and because each person has different responsibilities in the platoon, it’s vital to ensure everyone has the mission critical gear needed to carry out the mission. ...
The military equipment is obviously important, but there is one piece of equipment that is more important than all the others, and I would ask every one of my platoon mates every time if they had it: ‘their can.’ I learned about inspecting for their “can” from my very first chief, a senior petty officer who was an old-school SEAL. He would often pull me aside and say, ‘Sir, all these new electronic toys are distracting. I don’t want the platoon to rely on these things because they can break, and then what?’
I remember looking at him quizzically and saying, ‘Ahh, okay, so what do you want them to use, Senior Chief?’ He didn’t miss a beat as he looked at me and said, ‘Sir, no mission ever goes as planned. I want to make sure every one of our boys has their can of whoop-ass with them.’
The analogy of the ‘can of whoop-ass’ from SEAL Team is something I have carried forward and modified over the past twenty-five years. It is great to be fired up and focused on what you need to do, but it’s even more helpful to direct the energy by attaching a series of thoughts and actions that will help you perform at your highest level. I call this technique ‘Opening Your CAN.’ I have made an acronym out of the word CAN: concentrate, activate, and narrow.
The process of Opening Your CAN requires you to attach to positive thoughts that have happened in your past and to those that you want to happen in your future.”
That’s from Chapter #6, appropriately called “Opening Your Can of Whoop-Ass.”
I love that story of Alden and his former Senior Chief. The next time you’re going through a review of your life and all the “equipment”you need to fulfill YOUR next mission, make sure you have your CAN of Whoop-Ass ready to go! (Hah.)
Alden’s CAN acronym is short for “concentrate, activate, and narrow.” Here’s the quick take.
C = “Concentrate on the Experience You Want.”DELETE all negative thoughts from your mind. Focus on what you WANT to see come to fruition not what you’re afraid of.
A = “Activate Your Body.”BREATHE! In through your nose, down into your belly, exhaling slightly longer than your inhale. BAM! Energized tranquility and calm confidence activated.
N = “Narrow Your Focus.”Do not let your mind wander. Eliminate all distractions as you FOCUS on WHAT’S IMPORTANT NOW!
As Alden says: “When it’s game time, you can feel it, because your heart rate is getting elevated and your breathing increases to feed your raising pulse. You smile because you know your body is secreting extra hormone energy to help you perform at your peak. These moments are the moments you have trained for, and you’re ready to do something extra special. Let your narrowing of focus remind you that nervousness is just fuel for your body to perform at its highest level. You are now ready to Open Your CAN of performance whoop-ass!”
Experts fail more than amateurs try. Enough said.
Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.
Make a Mistake? Say: “Not Me!”
“Remember: The single most important leadership role you have is leading yourself, and the mindset required when you make a mistake involves leading how you think and feel. You must learn to be kind to yourself. Another way to look at this is by asking yourself, Hey, is it helpful or hurtful to make myself feel bad for missing that shot? Pretend for a moment you’re coaching yourself. Answer that question—helpful or hurtful? You know the answer; it’s hurtful. All it does is add more pressure to your next action, compounding the odds of making another mistake. Instead, you want to reduce the pressure on yourself by lowering the stakes of your next action. Break down the action into smaller chunks and find something positive about each next action you take so you can find small wins that will build upon each other.
The key to this is first stopping the process of taking actions that are not helpful to your success. This is why I created the acronym NOT Me! with inspiration from Dr. Nate Zinsser’s book The Confident Mind. (I have long used NOT Me! but I love how Dr. Zinsser details three specific traits: Temporary, Non-representative, and One-off. I have built a mnemonic combining his words with my acronym of NOT Me!) I want you to use it to coach yourself into not repeating a past mistake and move on to performing at your potential. NOT Me! stands for:
Not
representative of what I can do;
One-off
action that is not normal of the actions I take; and
Temporary
mistake that will not last because my next action will be better.
‘NOT Me!’ is what I want you to say every time you make a mistake that you don’t want to repeat. Essentially, the mistake you made was not your best. Therefore, it’s not you—it is not representative of who you are or what you are capable of. The mistake was nothing more than a cosmic speedbump, a blip, an aberration, a hiccup in time that just reminds you that you are human and imperfect. That’s all; nothing more, nothing less. You will learn from the mistake later, but at this moment in the middle of your performance, sweep it to the side and get back to performing at your best. NOT Me! is a powerful yet simple coaching mantra that you can repeat to yourself to keep yourself calm and relaxed.”
I absolutely love that.
It reminds me of Lanny Bassham’s “Needs work!” mantra he used after missing a shot vs. the “That’s like me!” mantra he’d use after HITTING a bulls-eye. It’s a REALLY powerful way to forge a strong self-image which is a REALLY important thing to do well.
Dominate something? Say to yourself: “THAT’S LIKE ME!”Not dominating it? Say to yourself “THAT’S NOT LIKE ME!”
Know this: The elements of the “NOT” acronym are the essence of The 3 P’s of Martin Seligman’s “explanatory styles” from his classic book, Learned Optimism. (See: +1 on Failure Is a L-I-E.)
When something goes wrong for Optimistic people, they don’t take it “Personally” (“Not representative of what I can do”); they don’t make it “Pervasive” (“One-off action that is not normal of the actions I take”); and they don’t make it “Permanent” (“Temporary mistake that will not last because my next action will be better”).
I repeat... Dominate something? Say to yourself: “THAT’S LIKE ME!” Not dominating it? Say to yourself “THAT’S NOT LIKE ME!”
P.S. Alden references Dr. Nate Zinsser’s book, The Confident Mind, a number of times. So, I got it. I read it the day after I finished this book. It’s FANTASTIC.
You are more powerful than you realize. You can do more than you originally thought possible. All you have to do is take one action at a time toward your goal. It only gets complicated when we start to think too much about what we can or cannot do. This entire book is focused on one thing: inspiring you to take the next action.
The Moment Versus the Mountain
“When your focus funnel widens too much and you bring in too many thoughts of future work, it can quickly lead you down a path of feeling overwhelmed and losing hope. The only action we can control is the one we take in the present moment. It’s important to practice this, and below. I share an exercise that helps you do so. I call this the Moment versus the Mountain. I use the word mountain to represent the mountain of work ahead of you. Any dream you pursue is going to require mountains of work. I want you to avoid psyching yourself out before you begin your climb toward your dream. Concentrate on the next action you must take—nothing else matters. Use the mountain as a way to track your progress. Charting how far you’ve come can help you stay positive. But do not dwell on thoughts that are asking you, How much longer to the top? Dreams, like mountaintops, are reached one action (one step) at a time.”
That’s from Chapter #7 called “Focus” in which Alden walks us through the importance of dominating THE NEXT MOST IMPORTANT THING.
His approach is awesome. It’s VERY similar to our Heroic Soul Force Equation in which we know that we need to get our Energy Focused on What’s Important Now CONSISTENTLY if we want to activate our Heroic potential.
Alden’s super simple and equally powerful little exercise to help us dominate it? He tells us: “Ask yourself every morning, What is one action I can take today that will move me closer to achieving my goal?”
With that in mind, I ask you: “What is one action you can take today that will move you closer to achieving your goal?”
And uh... Is Right NOW a good time to go crush that?
Awesome. Get on that. It’s time to forge our Unstoppable Mindsets as we move from Theory to Practice to Mastery and give the world all we’ve got... TODAY!
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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