Toward a Psychology of Being

That’s Maslow’s view of the self-actualizer/a healthy person in a nut shell!

As we discussed in the Note on Motivation and Personality, Maslow created the “Hierarchy of Needs” and the basic idea is that, as we move thru the more basic needs for safety, belongingness, love, respect and self-esteem, we open more and more fully into the pull to self-actualize. Good stuff.

Hah. Well, that’s one way to look at “normal,” eh?!?

“A psychopathology of the average.” :)

Maslow delivers that blow in the context of his desire to see more and more scientific research put into what’s POSSIBLE rather than what is.

And, it reminds me of Jiddu Krishnamurti’s wisdom that “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

That’s pretty strong, eh?

Maslow doesn’t mess around in these matters.

In the Note on Motivation and Personality, he has some other equally strong words: “If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.”(Yowsers! :)

Reminds me of the idea of karmic “imprints” Geshe Michael Roache talks about in his great book The Diamond Cutter (see Notes).

Geshe Roache tells us: “And this, of all the points in this book, is the single most important one for business and personal success: Even a relatively minor action, if undertaken with a conscious awareness of how imprints make us see an otherwise ‘neutral’ or ‘empty’ world as we do, will lead to tremendous results. To illustrate this truth, the Buddha is telling his disciple Subhuti that it would be better just to lay hands on The Diamond Cutter, and have some inkling of its contents, than give another person an entire planet, or even a billion entire planets, covered with precious jewels. This is because a person who even comes close to understanding how imprints make us see our world as we do can go about creating, consciously, a perfect life and perfect world.”

Imprints. The idea is that every single thought and action we have creates a little “imprint” in our consciousness—influencing how we perceive the world and therefore the thoughts and actions we’re likely to take in the future. In effect, each of these little imprints directly and significantly affect the course of our lives. So, we want to take them seriously and pay attention!

For the record, this *does not* mean that we should beat ourselves up and live with shame and unnecessary guilt. In fact, Roache talks about the fact that “There’s no word in Tibetan for ‘guilty.’ The closest thing is ‘intelligent regret that decides to do things differently.’”

It’s all about noticing what’s working and what’s not, being honest with ourselves and then choosing to take the most constructive action going forward.

Ultimately, it’s all living our ideals. Being in integrity.

Are you?

Amen.

We talk about the relationship between ego and self-development and Eastern/New Agey vs. Western pscyhoanalytic perspectives in the Notes on Nathaniel Branden’s The Art of Living Consciously and Joseph Campbell’s Pathways to Bliss and Jonathan Haidt’s The Happiness Hypothesis (and I imagine we’ll continue to explore it as we do more Notes :).

If you’re interested in deepening your understanding of the role a healthy ego plays in our evolution I think you’ll really dig those Notes. For now, know that if we want to get to a point where we can *transcend* our ego/separate self, first we must have a clear sense of who we are.

In short, we can’t transcend something we haven’t fully embodied! How can you “let go” of something you don’t have hold of? So, here’s to self-actualizing so we can continue on the path of transcending (and *including*) our individuated selves.

P.S. Remember: If you can’t get yourself to do the dishes (or eat well, exercise, quit yelling at people, meditate consistently, whatever), the rest of this stuff isn’t very relevant. So, go do your dishes. :)

I love this passage.

It’s amazing how often people say that, just because they aren’t a musician or a painter or some other “creative” type, that they aren’t inherently creative—which is usually followed by a statement along the lines of the idea that, if they *are* going to be more creative, they need to start painting or playing music or whatever.

But, that misses the point of true creativity. In reality, EVERY moment gives us an opportunity to live with a creative spirit—as we remember that, ultimately, our LIVES are our greatest work of art and each moment gives us another chance to most fully embody our highest ideals and rock it.

And, it reminds me of John Gardner’s wisdom: “The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because philosophy is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.”

If you’re wondering how you can get your creativity on, how about some Maslow mojo on that? (And, here’s a hint: It all starts with virtue.)

LOVE. THAT.

First, let’s start with a definition of the word epiphenomena. It means: “a secondary effect or by-product that arises from but does not causally influence a process.”

In short, an epiphenomena is simply a by-product of something else. In this case, Maslow’s telling us that creativity is simply a by-product of being a virtuous individual. It’s as if a person living with the character traits of boldness, courage, freedom, integration, and self-acceptance naturally emits creative goodness.

So many teachers echo this sentiment—which is why I’m so committed to inspiring you to rock your virtues!!

Let’s soak in a little more wisdom on the subject of by-products, shall we?

First, Michael Ray from his great book The Highest Goal (see Notes) where he tells us: “Material bounty may well be the by-product of your spiritual bounty, but it won’t be your focus.”

Eric Butterworth tells us this in his classic book Spiritual Economics (see Notes): “The goal should not be to make money or acquire things, but to achieve the consciousness through which the substance will flow forth when and as you need it.”

How’s your spontaneity? Are you all up in your head worried about what everyone will think every moment of the day? (Or just much more than you’d like?)

Reminds me of Anthony de Mello’s wisdom from Awareness (see Notes): “Get rid of your fear of failure, your tensions about succeeding, you will be yourself. Relaxed. You wouldn’t be driving with your brakes on. That’s what would happen.”

And John Eliot from his AWESOME book Overachievement (see Notes) where he talks about the importance of entering what he calls a “Trusting Mindset” where we get out of our heads and let it rip. In his words: “Selling is very different from trying to be a salesman. That A you got at Business School in ‘Sales & Marketing’ isn’t what’s going to close the deal. In fact, if all you’re doing is thinking about what you should do, you’re going to look like a self-conscious goof and do anything but close. When you’re in the middle of a deal, you’ve got to turn that part of your brain off and trust yourself.”

So, let’s model Overachievers and Self-Actualizers and turn our brains off and trust ourselves more often! :)

Reminds me of this Osho mojo (see Notes on The Book of Understanding):

“Man is not born perfect. He is born incomplete, he is born as a process. He is born on the way, as a pilgrim. That is his agony and his ecstasy, too; agony because he cannot rest, he has to go ahead, he has always to go ahead. He has to seek and search and explore. He has to become, because his being arises only through becoming. Becoming is his being. He can only be if he is on the move. Evolution is intrinsic to man’s nature, evolution is his very soul. And those who take themselves for granted remain unfulfilled. Those who think they are born complete remain unevolved. Then the seed remains the seed. It never becomes a tree and never knows the joys of spring and the sunshine and the rain, and the ecstasy of bursting into millions of flowers. That explosion is the fulfilment, that explosion is what existence is all about—exploding into millions of flowers. When the potential becomes the actual, only then is man fulfilled.”

Beautiful!

And, how about this Rollo May goodness (see Notes on The Courage to Create): “The acorn becomes an oak by means of automatic growth; no commitment is necessary. The kitten similarly becomes a cat on the basis of instinct. Nature and being are identical in creatures like them. But a man or woman becomes fully human only by his or her choices and his or her commitment to them. People attain worth and dignity by the multitude of decisions they make from day by day. These decisions require courage.”

Here’s to courage to create our most authentically awesome selves!

And, Dan Millman tells us this in Everyday Enlightenment (see Notes): “No one feels the same way all the time. Even if you are angry, depressed, crazy, afraid, or grieving, you’ll have moments when you are distracted. There are no enlightened people, no nice, bad, smart, neurotic, or stupid people, either—only people with more (or less) enlightened, nice, bad, smart, neurotic, or stupid moments.”

While David Reynolds tells us this in Constructive Living (see Notes): “There are no neurotics or geniuses or failures or fools. There are only neurotic moments, flashes of brilliance, failed opportunities, and stupid mistakes. But these moments, pleasant or unpleasant, can never fix us into rigid, immutable characters. We cannot help but change. This book is about choosing the direction of your changingness and acting upon your choice.”

So, let’s embrace the fact (yes, it’s a fact) that even the most awesome life is going to have its fair share of challenges. That’s just how it is! Then we can stop stressing about our stress quite so much, eh?

Maslow said this another way as well: “What one can be, one must be.”