You Can Heal Your Life
This book has sold 30 (!!) million copies and Louise (founder of Hay House) Hay is one of the vanguards of the modern self-development era. This book rocks and in the Note, we'll look at some amazing Big Ideas—starting with the need to love and approve of ourselves exactly the way we are and including the power of changing our "should's" to "could's" and cleaning out our mental houses as we celebrate (yes, celebrate!) paying our bills!
Big Ideas
- Approve of YourselfEXACTLY as you are!
- Should --> CouldAmazing shift.
- Mirror, MirrorOn the wall.
- Our Mental HouseTime for a good cleaning.
- Seeing YourselfAs a child.
- Walking and TalkingAnd learning.
- Blaming & PowerDrop one get the other.
- Love Your BillsCelebrate ‘em!
- Our SoulsLet’s not shrivel ‘em.
- Put Your AwarenessInto practice.
“Good health begins with loving the self. So do prosperity and love and creative self-expressions.”
~ Louise L. Hay from You Can Heal Your Life
I like Louise Hay. And, I’m not alone. Over 30 (!!!) million people have purchased her classic book, You Can Heal Your Life, and I don’t know how many tens of millions of others have been inspired and empowered by the incredible books published by Hay House, the publishing house she founded. What an incredible woman.
And, there’s a reason so many peeps have read this book. It rocks. Focused on the fact that all dis-ease can be traced to us not loving ourselves enough and packed with all kinds of Big Ideas on how to get our self-love on, the book also has a sweet section that outlines the emotional disturbance/thought patterns tied to ALL KINDS of physical ailments. It’s incredibly spot on. :)
You’ll have to get the book for all that mojo. For now, let’s take a quick peek at a handful of my favorite Big Ideas. :)
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Listen to the PodcastApprove of Yourself EXACTLY as you are
“When people come to me with a problem, I don’t care what it is—poor health, lack of money, unfulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity, there is only one thing I ever work on, and that is LOVING THE SELF.
I find that as we really love and accept and APPROVE OF OURSELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE, then everything in life works. It’s as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become much more fulfilling, and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways. All this seems to happen without even trying.”
The book is essentially one big string of Ideas on how we can go about loving ourselves and removing the dis-ease that’s created when we don’t!
Step #1: As Louise says, we need to (yes, all caps!):
—> “APPROVE OF OURSELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE.”
What’s one thing that you currently aren’t approving of in yourself? (We ALL have at least a handful of things if we’re honest! :)
Alright. You got that one thing? Sweet.
Now, imagine being totally cool with it. Totally approving and accepting it.
How does that feel? If you’re like me, there’s a definite release of tension the moment I approved of and accepted that aspect of myself. REALLY powerful stuff.
Try it out. And, then add another aspect of yourself you approve of… and another… and… watch the tension dissolve and the miracle of you flow through your life. :)
Should—> Could
“I believe that should is one of the most damaging words in our language. Every time we use should, we are, in effect, saying ‘wrong.’ Either we are wrong or we were wrong or we are going to be wrong. I don’t think we need more wrongs in our life. We need to have more freedom of choice. I would like to take the word should and remove it from the vocabulary forever. I’d replace it with the word could. Could gives us a choice, and we are never wrong.”
This is one of the all-time greatest Big Ideas. Seriously.
Should, should, should, should.
Tony Robbins (see Notes) says: “Quit shoulding all over yourself!!!” :)
So, uh, are you shoulding all over yourself?!?
Well, stop! You’re stinking up the place. :)
Seriously, though.
Try playing a game with yourself. See if you can start to notice every time you use the word “should.” And then swap it out for “could” and feel the difference between the two. Should’s a downer. ALWAYS. Could, as Louise says, offers choice. In that freedom to choose is our power.
Louise offers this exercise in the book. Complete 5 sentences that start with “I SHOULD.”
1. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
2. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
3. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
4. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
5. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
Alright. Now, read each one and ask: “Why?”
Now, take those five sentences and start ‘em with: “If I really wanted to I could ___________
_________________________________________________________________.”
Big shift in energy, eh? You’re basically shifting from a disempowered, critical “should” to an empowered, expansive “could.”
That’s a shift we want to make often. :)
Mirror, Mirror On the wall
“I ask my clients to pick up a small mirror, look into their own eyes, and say their names and, ‘I love and accept you exactly as you are.’
This is so difficult for many people. Seldom do I get a calm reaction, let alone enjoyment from this exercise. Some cry or are close to tears, some get angry, some belittle their features or qualities, some insist they CAN’T do it…”
Louise talks about the fact that some of our deepest programming came from our parents and other adults who, when we were kids, looked us straight in the eye and told us some stuff that we may not’ve preferred to have burned into our consciousness.
She believes one of the most powerful ways to re-condition our minds is to look, with love, into our own eyes and repeat “I love and accept you exactly as you are.”
Try it out! If you’re like me you might feel a little wacky the first few (dozen! :) times you do it, but it’s really amazing. Now, I’m following her advice and having a little bromance with myself every time I look at a mirror. Me likes. :)
Cleaning Our Mental House
“If you want to clean a room thoroughly, you will pick up and examine everything in it. Some things you will look at with love, and you will dust them or polish them to give them new beauty. Some things you will see that need refinishing or repair, and you will make a note to do that. Some things will never serve you again, and it becomes time to let those things go. Old magazines and newspapers and dirty paper plates can be dropped into the wastebasket very calmly. There is no need to get angry in order to clean the room.
It is the same thing when we are cleaning our mental house. There is no need to get angry just because some of the beliefs in it are ready to be tossed out. Let them go as easily as you would scrape bits of food into the trash after a meal. Would you really dig into yesterday’s garbage to make tonight’s meal? Do you dig into old mental garbage to create tomorrow’s experiences? If a thought or belief does not serve you, let it go!”
I LOVE that.
Is it time to clean up that room in your head? :)
No need to get all cranky about it as you find thoughts/beliefs/etc. you don’t dig. Just toss ‘em out, yo!
While we’re on the subject of dirty minds and making tonight’s dinner with last night’s garbage, get these wacky stats from Marci Shimoff’s great book Happy for No Reason (see Notes): “According to scientists, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. That’s one thought per second during every waking hour. No wonder we’re so tired at the end of the day! And what’s even more startling is that of those 60,000 thoughts, 95 percent are the same thoughts you had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. Your mind is like a record player playing the same record over and over again… Talk about being stuck in a rut… Still, that wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the next statistic: for the average person, 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative. That means that every day most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts… Dr. Daniel Amen, a world-renowned psychiatrist and brain imaging specialist, calls them automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs.”
Time for a mental cleanse?
We’ve already talked about swapping your shoulds for coulds. That’s a REALLY Big Idea. You might also wanna see what you can do about removing ALL (!) blame, criticism, gossip, complaining and comparing. Those little ANTs can make a real mess in your life.
Time for some organic, non-toxic ant spray, eh? :)
Seeing Yourself As a child
“If we were to take a three-year-old child and put him in the middle of the room, and you and I were to start yelling at the child, telling him how stupid he was, how he could never do anything right, how he should do this, and shouldn’t do that, and look at the mess he made; and maybe hit him a few times, we would end up with a frightened little child who sits docilely in the corner, or who tears up the place. The child will go one of these two ways, but we will never know the potential of that child.
If we take the same little child and tell him how much we love him, how much we care, that we love the way he looks and love how bright and clever he is, that we love the way he does things, and that it’s okay for him to make mistakes as he learns—and that we will always be there for him no matter what—then the potential that comes out of that child will blow your mind!
Each one of us has a three-year-old child within us, and we often spend most of our time yelling at that kid in ourselves. Then we wonder why our lives don’t work.”
Wow.
That puts things in perspective, eh? How’re you treating that three-year-old kid within you?
Picture that dynamic the next time you start getting mean with yourself and check in to see if that’s the way you’d treat an adorable little three-year-old with infinite potential…
And how about a little more kid love?
Learning How to Walk or Talk
“When a little child is learning to walk or talk, we encourage him and praise him for every tiny improvement he makes. The child beams and eagerly tries to do better. Is this the way you encourage yourself when you are learning something new? Or do you make it harder to learn because you tell yourself that you are stupid or clumsy or a ‘failure’?”
This is one of THE coolest ways to approach learning.
Imagine yourself as a little child, first learning how to walk or talk.
* squeezes cheeks *
You’re such a little cutey!!! :)
Alright. Back to bizness. So, you’re this adorable little diaper-wearing angel GIDDILY pushing your edges and falling down and trying again and LAUGHING while you “fail.”
Only, you don’t see it as failure because, among other things: a) You’re having way too much fun doing something just a little better than you did a moment before; and, b) That part of your brain that processes thoughts like that hasn’t even developed yet so you’re back to intuitively rockin’ it and, of course, learning REMARKABLY quickly.
Alright. Scenario 2. You’re still in your diapers. Only, this time, bring your current mind. Now learn how to walk. Or talk.
… Good luck with that.
How about a quick look at your internal dialogue?
“OMG! Did anyone see that?!? I just fell AGAIN. GAH!!! That’s at LEAST the 5th time this morning I fell. This just isn’t happening. I feel like SUCH an idiot. And that OTHER kid over there is *totally* rockin’ it and he’s like a month younger than me. Forget it. This sucks. I’m just not cut out for this. But no need to be attached to results. Breathe. Oh, whatever. I need a nap.”
Too fun. Seriously though. What if we embraced our spiritual evolution/personal development (and EVERY skill we’re developing—whether it’s parenting or relationships or …) with the same innocent joy with which we approached learning to walk?!?
AND, what if we treated our friends with the same “bust-out-the-video-camera-cuz-Susy-just-almost-crawled-in-her-relationship” celebrative support we offer our kids when they’re rockin’ a new skill?
THAT’s a sweet world. Let’s create it. (Starting with ourselves, of course. :)
Blaming & Power
“Blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem. In blaming another, we give away our power. Understanding this enables us to rise above the issue and take control of our future. The past cannot be changed. The future is shaped by our current thinking.”
Blame. Such a fascinating thing.
We’ve gotta realize that, as Louise says: “blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem.”
Why is blame so bad? Why is it such a great way to make sure we stay locked in a problem?
Several reasons. The #1 reason is the fact we’re putting control OUTSIDE of ourselves and giving our power away. NOT a good idea.
I’ve mentioned the fact that psychologists call this your “locus of control” a number of times in these Notes. You can have an “internal locus of control” or an “external locus of control.”
External means you BLAME a bad childhood, economy or hair day for your current well-being. Ickey-pooh. You do that and you’ll be measurably less healthy, happy, all-that-you-want-to-be. :)
The alternative is simple: bring your power back. Make your “locus of control” INTERNAL—inside you. KNOW that, despite the childhood, the economy or the hair day, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE on how you respond to life.
So, exercise that freedom.
Stop blaming. STOP STOP STOP.
Take your power back and know that you’re consciously creating a fabulous future with each empowering thought.
Love Your Bills
“It is essential that we stop worrying about money and stop resenting our bills. Many people treat bills as punishments to be avoided if possible. A bill is an acknowledgment of our ability to pay. The creditor assumes you are affluent enough and gives you the service or the product first. I bless with love each and every bill that comes into my home. I bless with love and stamp a small kiss on each and every check I write. If you pay with resentment, money has a hard time coming back to you. If you pay with love and joy, you open the free-flowing channel of abundance. Treat money as a friend, not as something you wad up and crush into your pocket.”
How do YOU deal with bills?
Getting a bill really is an *amazing* thing when you think about it. Someone gave you something because, in essence, they believed in and trusted you. Whether it’s a plumber who helps you out then sends you a bill or a credit card company that gives you cash then sends you a bill.
If you have a knee-jerk reaction any time you get a bill, see if you can take a moment and reflect on the incredible cooperation, love and trust involved in every simple exchange. Then, rather than get all pissy about it, bless the bill. Thank the individual who gave you his/her services or the individuals who make up the company that created the products you enjoy. These people deserve our appreciation for spending some of their precious life force on helping us have a more enjoyable life. Yah? THAT’s the way we wanna roll.
If you’re currently in a *really* tight position cash-wise, it’s even MORE important you get in the habit of re-orienting your relationship to money. You might dig my Notes on a couple books that were really transformative for me: Spiritual Economics and The Science of Getting Rich. Plus, The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind is cool, too. :)
So, make money your friend and give the next bill you pay a little smooch, will ya?!? :)
Let's Not Shrivel our Soul
“Often what we think of as the things ‘wrong’ with us are only our expressions of our individuality. This is our uniqueness and what is special about us. Nature never repeats itself. Since time began on this planet, there have never been two snowflakes alike or two raindrops the same. And every daisy is different from every other daisy. Our fingerprints are different, and we are different. We are meant to be different. When we can accept this, then there is not competition and no comparison. To try to be like another is to shrivel our soul. We have come to this planet to express who we are.”
All the great teachers go off on this theme. See Notes on, well, all of them for echoes. :)
We’ve heard this at least a dozen (perhaps a million) times. But do you GET IT?!?
We’re not here to be a second-rate version of someone else. It’s time to REALLY embrace our uniqueness, release ALL restrictions, and FULLY give ourselves to the world.
Put Your Awareness Into practice
“Think thoughts that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make you feel good. Eat things that make your body feel good. Go at a pace that makes you feel good.”
That’s worth a re-read. SO remarkably simple. And equally powerful.
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