In our last +1, we started talking about one of my recent coaching sessions with my Yoda then I took us on a trip down the Johnson Family Memory Lane as I shared the origin story of why I love falling asleep holding hands with Emerson on our boys-only weekend chess tournament adventures.
Today we’re going to go back to the practical wisdom from that chat with Phil.
Let’s get straight to work.
So…
After Phil and I chatted about the weekend with Emerson and I celebrated both how much I love our time together and how proud I am of how hard he’s worked to achieve success in chess…
Phil asked me…
“How does Emerson deal with failure?”
To which I said…
“This is actually the thing that makes me MOST proud of and excited for him… He alchemizes a loss almost INSTANTLY!”
I told Phil that, of course, he doesn’t like losing.
BUT…
He KNOWS that it’s part of the game and he lets it go almost immediately.
It’s truly an astonishing thing.
Important note…
I think some of the contributing factors include my RELENTLESS obsession with embodying the growth mindset wisdom from Carol Dweck’s Mindset and Self-Theories books (check out those Notes).
AND…
Another big thing is my equally consistently relentless practice of Lanny Bassham’s 1-2-3 post-performance protocol during which we ALWAYS find something to celebrate then we find the #1 thing that needs work then we find THE thing that we’ll do differently to make sure we turn that loss into learning which will soon contribute to a win.
(Check out this +1 on Win or Learn for more on that process.)
We’ve gone through this cycle SO MANY TIMES and I have so effectively made the connection between the loss, the learning, and the future win that we’ve been able to take the “WIN OR LEARN!” wisdom off the bumper sticker (and t-shirts a lot of chess kids wear!) and make it a practical reality in his life.
(Check out this +1 on Operationalizing Learning Wins for more. It’s one of my all-time favorite pieces of content.)
In our next +1, I’ll tell you what Phil told me after I told him that.
It involves a movie director who KNEW which person would become a star based on one thing.
For now…
If you feel so inspired…
Let’s go through the Heroic Win or Learn protocol together.
Think back to your last disappointing performance.
Got it?
Great.
Note1: It should have been really easy for you to recall that performance you wish you could have improved upon—whether that’s at work or at home!
Note2: The more Heroically you’re striving to live, the more opportunities you’re going to have to Win or Learn so…
Note3: If you COULDN’T quickly come up with a thing or three, take that as a sign you need to step up your game. 😉
So…
If you could easily find a gold mine of “failures”…
GREAT WORK.
You’re right where we want you to be.
Now…
Bring that performance you wish you had crushed to mind.
We’re going to 1-2-3 it.
First…
#1. What’s ONE thing that we can celebrate about that performance?!?
Note: We ALWAYS (!!!) start here.
ALWAYS.
Note: There’s ALWAYS something you can celebrate.
ALWAYS.
Feast on that. That’s like you to crush it.
For Emerson, it’s often that he put himself into a position to win against a REALLY good opponent. We talk about THAT *before* we talk about what needs work.
Now…
#2. What moment do you wish you could go back and redo? And/or what is something that that “Oops!” moment reveals needs work?
For Emerson, it’s often a move in a game or a specific skill that needs to be addressed.
For example, he played a guy who had a killer opening. We knew he needed to work on defending against that. He played another guy who had a great endgame. We knew we needed to study those.
How about YOU?
What’s ONE thing you KNOW you need to improve based on that sub-optimal performance?
Got it?
Great.
NOW…
It’s time to turn that “loss” into a “learn” so we can take this wisdom off the bumper sticker and make this loss a WIN in the future.
#3. What’s the ONE thing you KNOW you can do to address the weakness that was exposed on that sub-optimal performance?
And…
Most importantly…
What, SPECIFICALLY (!), will you do differently to improve?
Got it?
Good.
Now go CRUSH that…
With a SMILE.
KNOWING (!!!) that it’s SUPPOSED TO BE CHALLENGING.
Remember: Heroes battle dragons. We don’t sidestep lizards.
Remember: Dragons have sharp claws and fiery breath. 🐉 🔥
Remember: We’re going to get scratched up and burned in this one precious, Heroic life of ours.
Let’s wear those scars like MEDALS.
It’s time to win or learn.
And, remember…
When we do it right, learning becomes winning so…
We Win or We Win.
It’s Day 1.
We’re ALL IN.
Let’s go, Hero.
🫡
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