The First 30 Days

1. “People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs.
2. People who successfully navigate change know that change always brings something positive into their lives.
3. People who successfully navigate change know they are resilient, strong, and capable of getting through anything.
4. People who successfully navigate change know that every challenging emotion they feel is not going to stop them and will guide them to positive emotions that help them feel better.
5. People who successfully navigate change know that the quicker they accept the change, the less pain and hardship they will feel.
6. People who successfully navigate change use empowering questions and words, think better thoughts, and express their feelings.
7. People who successfully navigate change know they are connected to something bigger than themselves.
8. People who successfully navigate change are not alone; they surround themselves with people who can help, who have the right beliefs and skills. And they create an environment that supports their change.
9. People who successfully navigate change take action. They have a plan and know how to take care of themselves.”

Optimism, optimism, optimism.

We talk about this A LOT and there’s a reason why it’s Principle #1 for effective change mojo: it’s BIG.

Check out the Note on Learned Optimism for the science of optimism and why it’s so important. And check in on where you’re at: When change happens do you look for the great stuff that can come out of it? Sweet. :)

This reminds me of how, at his live workshops, Tony Robbins trained the audience to stand up and cheer wildly anytime one of the people he was doing work with said, “I’m confused.”

Why’d he do that? Because he wanted to create a new association between confusion and excitement rather than confusion and fear. We tend to fear the unknown and the more we can, as Ariane says, “…change our view of change by viewing the uncomfortable moments as an opportunity for tremendous transformation” the more empowered we’re going to be in every facet of our lives!

So… Can you celebrate change a little more by seeing the tremendous potential for transformation inherent to the process?!? (Good answer! :)

This is awesome. Let’s take a moment to jot down our struggles and our ideals, shall we?

What are the Top 3 things that are stressing you out right now?

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And, what are the Top 3 lessons you can learn from them?!?

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(Well done! :)

The Change Guarantee: Every change we experience always brings something positive into our lives. It may not be obvious immediately, but it ALWAYS does.

Can you look back over your life and see the most challenging times and the benefit that you’ve gained from them?!? If you don’t see it at first glance, look a little harder. (Or grab the book and Ariane will help you through the process with some *awesome* exercises!)

Love that. So, if we want a stronger body, we know we need to exercise it, eh? SAME THING with our optimism.

I love the way Sonja Lyubomirsky puts it in her fantastic book The How of Happiness (see Notes): “All that is required to become an optimist is to have the goal and to practice it. The more you rehearse optimistic thoughts, the more ‘natural’ and ‘ingrained’ they will become. With time they will be part of you, and you will have made yourself into an altogether different person.”

Let’s hit the gym and get our optimism muscles rockin’, shall we? :)

* flexes *

This is a REALLY cool idea.

We’ve ALL been through challenging times in the past, yah? And, we all did certain things during those challenging times that helped us get through the transition, right? So, uh, why not do a quick inventory of what worked and use those same strategies again?!?

It’s so simple and straightforward and so powerful!

Try it out! What are YOUR top strategies for dealing with change? What are the most important things you’ve done to navigate challenges in the past? Exercising more? Resting more? Eating better? Hanging out with friends? Meditating? Whatever it is, rock it! :)

Love that.

Ariane has a chapter on the six “Change Demons”: fear, doubt, impatience, blame, guilt, and shame along with some GREAT Ideas on how to face each one (this chapter alone is worth the price of the book fer sure).

I love the way she ties these change demons into the emotional guidance system and it reminds me Abraham Hicks (see Notes on Ask, and It Is Given, Money, and the Law of Attraction, and The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent). They talk about the fact that the emotions we’re feeling are simply letting us know how connected or dis-connected we are to our Highest Selves.

If we’re feeling depressed, helpless, fearful, rageful (or any of the “demons”), we can bet we’ve unplugged from Source. If, on the other hand, we’re feeling joy, empowerment, freedom, a sense of knowing, love and appreciation, our “emotional guidance system” is letting us know we’re plugged in!

Now, the important thing about all this, is that we don’t need to get upset if we’re feeling less than stellar. As Abraham Hicks says: “People talk about the reality of their life as if it is important. And we want you to understand, it’s only the temporary indicator. Do you go to the gas station—your gas gauge is on empty—do you go to the gas station and look at your gas gauge in horror? ‘How did this happen? [Fun] Why, why, why did this happen to me?’ Do you lay your head on the steering wheel and just sob? ‘Oh, look what it’s come to. [Fun] I’m finished. I’ve lived all of this life, and look where I am.’ Or do you just fill up?”

So, are you feeling overwhelmed by demons?!?

It’s all good. Just see them for what they are: temporary indicators you’re a little off and ask yourself how you can fill up on a little your emotional fuel tanks! :)

This is fantastic.

Reminds me of the theme of Overachievement by John Eliot (see Notes). He talks about how the top performers in every field “eat stress like an energy bar” and says: “Butterflies, cotton mouth, and a pounding heart make the finest performers smile—the smile of a person with an ace up their sleeves… They definitely would agree with Tiger Woods, who has often said, ‘The day I’m not nervous stepping onto the first tee—that’s the day I quit.’”

It’s NOT about *getting rid* of the fear. It’s about KNOWING we’ve been through it before and trusting we’ll rock it.

Remember Aristotle’s virtuous mean? Courage is the virtue that deals with fear. But the important thing to note is that it’s a VICE to have too little fear (leads to rashness! think of someone jumping out an airplane without a parachute) just as it’s a vice to have too much fear (leads to cowardice). It’s all about having the proper amount of fear and DOING IT ANYWAY.

In his great book Everyday Enlightenment (see Notes), Dan Millman says this: “Dar Robinson, one of the greatest modern-day daredevils, was terrified—practically scared to death—with each and every stunt. His heart leaped from his chest; he had to consciously control his rapid breathing; he sweated, he trembled, just like the rest of us—then he did what he had set out to do. This is what you and I can do in everyday life.”

So, let’s feel the fear and then just do it anyway, shall we? And, of course, know that as we do this, we’re gonna find it becomes easier and easier to push our edges further and further!

Great stuff.

First, blaming, criticizing and complaining are of the quickest ways to throw ourselves into victim-mode—placing our power outside of ourselves and wasting our power.

As Ariane suggests, “Take the twenty-four hour no-blame challenge.”

Seriously. See if you can go 24 hours without blaming ANYONE. Including yourself.

Second, I LOVE the idea of catching our “shoulds” and turning them into “coulds.” It’s a GREAT way to shift from victim to creator.

Louise Haye says this in her classic book You Can Heal Your Life (see Notes): “I believe that should is one of the most damaging words in our language. Every time we use should, we are, in effect, saying ‘wrong.’ Either we are wrong or we were wrong or we are going to be wrong. I don’t think we need more wrongs in our life. We need to have more freedom of choice. I would like to take the word should and remove it from the vocabulary forever. I’d replace it with the word could. Could gives us a choice, and we are never wrong.”

Are you, as Tony Robbins would say, “shoulding all over yourself”?

Well, stop doing that. (It stinks. :)

See if you can make it a game to catch your shoulds and aikido them into coulds!

Ariane has a chapter full of great ways to get unstuck—from focusing on our health to taking care of little things, making a decision, doing something for someone else and getting quiet.

The important thing here is to DO SOMETHING, however small and the idea is echoed throughout the great self-development literature.

I love hop-hop mogul Russell Simmon’s take on it in his great book Do You! (see Notes). He says: “The pain that’s created by avoiding hard work is actually much worse than any pain created from the actual work itself. Because if you don’t begin to work on those ideas that God has blessed you with, they will become stagnant inside of you and eventually begin to eat away at you. You might seem OK on the outside, but inside you will be ill from not getting those ideas out of your heart and into the world. Stalling leads to sickness. But taking steps, even baby steps, always leads to success.”

And David Schwartz reminds us of this in his classic The Magic of Thinking Big (see Notes): “… action cures fear. Indecision, postponement, on the other hand, fertilize fear… Jot that down in your success rule book right now. Action cures fear.”

So, how about you? What little step can you take right now? What’s the one thing that REALLY worked for you the last time you successfully dealt with change that you can re-introduce to your life stating now?!?

Let’s become Change Optimists as we develop our Change Muscles and KNOW that every change *always* brings amazing positive benefits into our lives!