The Obstacle Is the Way

Perception.

It’s the first key to turning obstacles into assets.

Ryan walks us through the mechanics of properly conditioning our minds and brings the wisdom to life with some incredibly compelling stories.

Know this: We ALWAYS have a choice as to how we respond to any given situation. Between stimulus and response, there’s always a choice. We want to choose wisely.

As we master our perception, we turn our attention to the second principle: Action.

Step one: Get your mind right. Properly see the event as an opportunity to demonstrate our strength.

Step two: Take right action. With deliberation, boldness and persistence.

Again, Ryan brilliantly (!) walks us through how to go about doing this and we’ll take a quick look at a couple of my favorite Big Ideas in a moment.

For now, let’s go to step three: Will.

Ah. Genius.

So, those are the three parts to turning trials into triumph: Perception + Action + Will.

Now let’s dive in a little deeper.

Hah. Love that.

John Glenn FLIES INTO SPACE and his heartbeat never goes over one hundred beats per minute.

We have a little challenge in our lives and our heart rate soars. Laughing. D’oh.

We must (!) TRAIN ourselves to control our emotions.

Ryan tells us about the first NASA missions. Can you guess what the astronauts were most thoroughly trained in?

… To NOT panic.

Freaking out in outer space is not OK. Those astronauts needed remarkable emotional regulation to keep their minds right when the inevitable challenge came their way.

We need to cultivate the same ability to control our perception—stepping in between stimulus and response to consciously, deliberately CHOOSE the optimal way to view the situation.

Good news is we can build that skill.

As Ryan says throughout the book, it’s simple, just not easy.

(So, next time you feel your heart rate climbing during your normal day, take a few deep breaths, slow down that monkey mind and think of Mr. Glenn with his Right Stuff orbiting our little blue marble and take that inspiration with you as you rock whatever you’re up to! :)

Post-traumatic growth.

Imagine that. Something super challenging happens to us.

We can either break down. OR grow.

The *same* event can elicit post-traumatic stress or post-traumatic growth. Seriously. Same exact event. Two different people. Two different responses. Two different results.

What’s the key determinant?

Our PERCEPTION, of course.

Martin Seligman, one of the leading figures in the Positive Psychology movement, talks about this in his book Flourish (and his book Learned Optimism is essentially a manual on the science cultivating our perception; see Notes on both books). Here’s how he puts it: “First, students learn the ABC model: how beliefs (B) about an adversity (A)—and not the adversity itself—cause the consequent (C) feelings. This is a point of major insight for students: emotions don’t follow inexorably from external events but from what you think about those events, and you can actually change what you think.”

A + B + C. Got it.

And, I just love the way Ryan tells us that “The extent of the struggle determines the extent of the growth.” Our only true enemy is a story that tells us something different from that.

Joseph Campbell puts it this way (see Notes on The Power of Myth): “There is an important idea in Nietzsche, of Amor fati, the ‘love of your fate,’ which is in fact your life. As he says, if you say no to a single factor in your life, you have unraveled the whole thing. Furthermore, the more challenging or threatening the situation or context to be assimilated and affirmed, the greater the stature of the person who can achieve it. The demon that you can swallow gives you its power, and the greater life’s pain, the greater life’s reply.”

Nassim Taleb echoes that wisdom in his genius book Anti-Fragile, reminding us that “Wind extinguishes a candle and energizes fire.”

Let’s eat our challenges like an energy bar—getting fueled not crushed.

That’s a great equation for genius:

Unity of Purpose + Deafness to Doubt + The Desire to Stay at It = GENIUS.

As Edison tells us, genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

We are seduced into believing the myth of genius being a flash of insight with the outcome easily falling into the hands of its creator.

BUT THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

PERIOD.

As Carol Dweck asks us in her seminal book Mindset (see Notes): “Is it ability or mindset? Was it Mozart’s musical ability or the fact that he worked till his hands were deformed? Was it Darwin’s scientific ability or the fact that he collected specimens non-stop from early childhood?”

Mozart worked so hard he made his hands DEFORMED.

Did you know that?

Because most of us buy into the myth that he was just magically born a genius. Sure, he was born into a musical family (his father literally wrote the book on music instruction) but he worked RIDICULOUSLY hard to achieve all that he did at such a young age.

Let’s re-write the genius equation.

It is *not*: Born a Genius + Inspiration + Stars Aligning = Genius

It is: Unity of Purpose + Deafness to Doubt + The Desire to Stay at It = GENIUS.

How’s your unity of purpose? You deaf to doubt? You have an insatiable desire to stay at it? (Fantastic.)

The Process.

Wow. Now THAT is a Big Idea.

You have a big goal? A big challenge? Don’t focus on the hugeness of it. Focus on the little things you can do to chip away at it.

Here’s how Joe De Sena, uber-athlete and creator of Spartan Race puts it in his great book Spartan Up! (see Notes): “The way to get through anything mentally painful is to take it a little at a time. The mind can’t handle dealing with a massive iceberg of pain in front of it, but it can deal with short nuggets that will come to an end. So instead of thinking, Ugh, I’ve got twenty-four miles to go, focus on making it to the next telephone pole in the distance. Whether you’re running twenty or one hundred and twenty miles at a time, the distance has to be tackled mentally and physically one mile at a time. The ability to compartmentalize pain into these small bite sizes is key.”

Telephone pole to telephone pole. That’s how we want to roll.

Here’s another quick story on making The Process primary. In With Winning in Mind (see Notes), Lanny Bassham tells us: “I suggested that instead of setting a goal to win Ben should goal set to make the process of playing well his primary focus. “Process is Primary” became a theme for the year. Ben’s job while playing was to think about executing his mental and technical systems and not to think about winning. Scoring is a function of great execution, and winning is the result, but thinking about winning can pull your focus off of proper execution in a competition. Thinking about process is the answer.

In the fourth tournament of the year at San Diego’s Torrey Pines course, Crane found himself just 30” from the cup on 18. The crowd knew Ben needed to make the putt for the win, but Crane had no idea. When the ball rolled in, his playing partner Ryuji Imada offered his hand in congratulations. Thinking this was just the customary handshake after the round, Ben did not realize he had won until Heather [his wife] ran on to the green.

“Did I win?” Crane said. This was proof that a player can cause his mind to think about process instead of outcome even with the possibility of winning pulling at him. Crane’s third career victory earned him $954,000 sending him on to his best year in goal at that point.”

→ “Did I win?”

Can you imagine sinking a million dollar putt but being so focused on the process that you ask that question? Let’s make that the goal. All hail THE PROCESS!

So good. Vernon Howard comes to mind as we wrap this up.

He tells us: “If it takes apparent misfortune to turn us into true philosophers and doers of good to receive good, then apparent misfortune is our greatest fortune.”