Scars and Stripes
An Unapologetically American Story of Fighting the Taliban, UFC Warriors, and Myself
Tim Kennedy is a FASCINATING, inspiring human being. Imagine blending David Goggins and Jocko Willink and Nims Purja together then throwing them into a UFC ring and reading about their lives with a BRUTALLY honest magnifying glass on ALL the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s hard to put into words how compelling the book is but it’s REALLY good. Laugh-out-loud funny. Humbling. Inspiring. If you (or a loved one) enjoy great military and/or sports biographies, I think you’ll love it as much as I did. Although it’s a memoir, not a self-development book, it’s packed with Big Ideas and I’m excited to share some of my favorites so let’s jump straight in.
Big Ideas
- Your Life Only Gets Better When...Only Gets Better When...
- A Second ChanceSeized by the Hero.
- A Defining MomentElevate Your Standards.
- Scars and StripesOne is Required for the Other.
“In these pages, I’ve gone out of my way to tell you the unfiltered truth. A lot of it was embarrassing to write. A lot of it doesn’t paint me in the best light. Sometimes, I’m simply not the good guy. And as painful as it was to put on paper it needed to happen this way. My public life tells a story of great, inspiring success. No one’s public life is real. Life’s messy. It’s hard. And sometimes, even the best of us are total pieces of shit. I need to show it all to you in order for you to value any of it. I want you to know, to understand, to feel it in your bones, that no matter where you are in life right now, there is a pathway to get better. You can be more than you ever thought possible, but it will not be easy, and the pathway to success is not a straight line. …
I’m going to tell the story a little differently than most memoirs. I decided to write the whole thing in the first-person present tense. I don’t want to tell you what happened to me. I want to immerse you in the crazy journey I have lived so you can feel each moment and each decision as I felt them. I want you to feel all the fear, failure, sadness, happiness, and success right along with me. That’s the only way you can truly understand my journey and apply it to your own.
I hope my story inspires you. I hope it changes your life.
It’s been one wild ride thus far.
Hop in and let me show what I’ve seen.”
~ Tim Kennedy from Scars and Stripes
Tim Kennedy is a FASCINATING, inspiring human being.
As per the back cover: “Tim Kennedy has a problem; he feels alive only right before he’s about to die. Kennedy, a Green Beret, decorated Army sniper, and UFC headliner, has tackled a bull with his bare hands, jumped out of airplanes, dived to the depths of the ocean, and traveled the world hunting poachers, human traffickers, and the Taliban.
But he’s also the same man who got kicked out of the police department, fire department, and as an EMT, before getting two women pregnant four days apart, and finally, been beaten up by his Special Forces colleagues for, quite simply, ‘being a selfish asshole.”
Imagine blending David Goggins and Jocko Willink and Nims Purja together then throwing them into a UFC ring and reading about their lives with a BRUTALLY honest magnifying glass on ALL the good, the bad and the ugly.
It’s hard to put into words how compelling the book is but it’s REALLY good. Laugh-out-loud funny. Humbling. Inspiring. If you (or a loved one) enjoy great military and/or sports biographies, I think you’ll love it as much as I did.
Get a copy here. (Thanks for the rec, MB/Dan!)
Although it’s a memoir, not a self-development book, it’s packed with Big Ideas and I’m excited to share some of my favorites so let’s jump straight in.
P.S. Before we get going, I have to say that another guy Tim/this book reminds me of is Adam Brown. Check out our Notes on Eric Blehm’s GREAT book called Fearless: The Undaunted Courage and Ultimate Sacrifice of Navy SEAL Team Six Operator Adam Brown.
It’s a similar Heroic redemption story of another truly great, imperfectly perfect man committed to living for something bigger than himself. If you like this book, you’ll love that one too.
Download MP3
Download PDFI want people who are reading this thing, who feel like total losers with no way out, to see a path forward and get the f*ck after it. I want them to start LIVING.
Get the BookYour Life Only Gets Better When...
“Your life only gets better when you do a few things:
Take accountability for it. It’s your fault.
Failure is going to happen. When it does, see number 1. If you want to fail less, see numbers 3-7.
An ounce of prevention prevents a pound of cure. The best time to start preparing is right now.
You cannot mass-produce elite people. They need to be forged from hard experiences. If you want to be one of them, you need to seek these challenges consistently.
Take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For some people that means therapy. For some people that means yoga and a cup of tea or fishing with the family. For me that means embracing a constant struggle. Rejecting comfort makes me . . . well . . . comfortable.
Surround yourself with good people striving to also improve themselves.
Build goals and pursue them to the end of the earth.
No matter where you are in your life, putting yourself on this path will change everything.”
Although this is DEFINITELY *not* a self-help book.
It is DEFINITELY a read-it-and-you-can’t-help-but-get-better book.
That passage is from the second page in the introduction. I’m pretty sure it’s the ONLY time Tim gives such EXPLICIT how-to advice. The rest is a demonstration of those truths and the story of the life experiences that helped him forge that wisdom.
A few paragraphs later, Tim tells us why he wrote the book which includes the fact that he wants “people who are reading this thing, who feel like total losers with no way out, to see a path forward and get the f*ck after it. I want them to start LIVING.”
We’ll talk more about what (and who!) I thought about when I read that passage in our next Big Idea.
For now...
How are YOU doing with those principles?
Are you taking 100% accountability for your life and where you’re at or are you playing the role of victim a little too well?
And...
How about the rest of the principles?
Remember...
Failure is going to happen. Don’t make excuses. Be accountable.
The best time to start preparing is RIGHT NOW.
If you want to be ELITE, you need to forge excellence by leaving your comfort zone and consistently seeking challenges.
Take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Surround yourself with good people who are also committed to optimizing.
And create some meaningful goals you’re willing to pursue to the end of the earth.
When?
As always...
TODAY’S THE DAY, Hero.
The entire military runs on the premise of Task, Condition, and Standard. You are given a task and a condition and you are expected to meet the standard. Special Forces operate on the premise of Task, Command, No Standard. In other words, the ‘standard’ is your best effort, every time.
As with all things, I didn’t do it until I got it right; I did it until I couldn’t get it wrong.
A Second Chance
“An hour ago, I was pretty sure I was going to die. I thought I was okay with that when I started to swim. But by the end, I wasn’t. And all of the regret I felt from my bad decisions paled in comparison to the regret I had when I began to realize it was likely all going to end. Now, I had a second chance.
I tell myself that I am lucky. But then I think some more. I’m not alive because I’m lucky. I’m alive for three reasons. First, a woman paid attention to her surroundings and, when things did not feel right, called the Coast Guard without hesitation. Second, the Coast Guard immediately began a search that they carried on for over an hour. Third, and perhaps most important, I never stopped swimming.
Everyone took action and the outcome changed. I need to do the same.
I am alive. I have a future. I need to do something with it.
A week later I received a call from the Army recruiter.
On September 12, 2001, the day after the terrorist attacks on our country, I had visited the Army, Navy, and Marine recruiters to try to enlist. There was such a backlog of candidates at that time that I was put on a waiting list. I hadn’t thought much of it over the last eighteen months, but my life was different now. …
I need to be better. I can’t keep living this life.
When I arrive at the station, the Army recruiter offers me access to a new program aimed at athletes who have already graduated from college—it is called ‘18 X-Ray program.’ It is a fast-track way of joining the Special Forces. Typically, the recruiter explains, you spend six years or more in the Army before you are eligible to apply for Special Forces. This program would allow me to cut the line. It sounds perfect.
I ask for a pen, then I sign the contract.
I’m headed to the Army.”
As I read that passage and all the incredibly hard times Tim faced early on in (and throughout) his life, I thought of David Goggins and Adam Brown.
I repeat: Tim was kicked out of the fire department AND the police department. Then he got TWO women pregnant in the span of FOUR days. During that time in his life, he swam out in the ocean and nearly killed himself.
Then, after 9/11, he enlisted in the Army, pulled it together and created a life of astonishing purpose and meaning (that, of course, continued to be filled with extraordinary challenges).
David Goggins failed to excel in the military as a young man and was a 300+ pound exterminator when he was inspired to join the Navy and become a SEAL. Recruiters literally laughed at him.
He figured out how to get enlisted and conquered countless obstacles to activate his Heroic potential/fulfill his mission to be one of the toughest, most inspiring human beings in the world.
Adam Brown was addicted to crack cocaine, arrested for over a dozen felonies and completely lost. He was lucky enough to be supported by his tough-love parents and pastor and found HIS purpose in the US Navy as well.
His story of redemption is beyond inspiring.
Now...
What do ALL of those guys have in common—beyond hitting their idiosyncratic version of absolute rock bottom?
They followed Rule #1 and took accountability for their lives—recognizing it was THEIR fault.
Stephen Covey would nod and agree.
Habit #1 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is EXACTLY that.
We must “Be Proactive.” We must take responsibility for our lives.
Jocko Willink would definitely nod and agree.
He wrote an entire book on the subject called Extreme Ownership.
Back to you...
Are YOU taking 100% EXTREME OWNERSHIP of YOUR LIFE?
If so, carry on.
If not, get on that.
In all scenarios, it’s time to appreciate all the opportunities we’ve been blessed to receive and all the people who have made our lives possible as we turn up the heat and activate our Heroic potential.
P.S. When I read Tim’s third reason for surviving (the fact he kept on swimming!), I thought of an incredible line from Abraham Maslow.
Maslow once said: “If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was a thousand miles away, I’d still swim. And I’d despise the ones who gave up.”
P.P.S. As I’ve shared MANY times, Maslow ALSO said: “If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.”
Ranger School is hard but fair. There is one standard: Ranger Standard. You either meet the standard or you go home. This is a meritocracy. There’s no rank. There are no favors. There are no exceptions to the standard. It’s a simplicity I immediately respect.
I generally live by the rule that you don’t rise to the moment but rather fall to the level of your training.
A Defining Moment
“After seven days of nonstop torture, not a single guy changed his story.
I’m so f*cking proud.
Some might conclude, after hearing my story, that since we cheated, we don’t deserve to be Green Berets. To those people, I would argue simply that we are Green Berets. We aren’t Marines. We aren’t SEALs. We aren’t Rangers. Like them, we will attempt to follow the rules and be perfectly disciplined. We are professionals, after all. But when the rules prevent us from finding a solution, or they flat out don’t make any sense and fall under the ‘this is the way it has always been done’ category, well . . . it’s our job to find the best solution. We have to get the job done, often while understaffed, outgunned, and in incredibly complex situations far from home, with limited backup. The lessons we learned from constantly trying to get away with shit, and finding ways to achieve mission success where others had not, will keep many of us alive on the battlefields in Afghanistan, Iraq, Africa, and South America.
Funny, the very habits that made me a terrible firefighter are the same habits that make me a perfect fit for this life.
After graduating SERE, we are all brought to the John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center at Fort Bragg. There’s a statue of a Green Beret there. We form up in front of it and are ordered to remove our maroon berets that represent we are Airborne personnel. We then move to our assigned tables and at the corner of each seat assignment is our new Green Beret, with our new unit flash already affixed. Even though I always felt this moment was inevitable, actually being here, looking at my beret, has a profound gravitas I didn’t expect. The commander gets up and gives an officer speech, but my eyes keep lingering on it—on my beret. When he is done, he sits down, and the Command Sergeant Major stands up and orders us to don our Green Berets. I will never be able to truly describe the profound weight of that moment for me. It isn’t just a hat. It’s a brotherhood. It’s a responsibility. It’s a moment that will define me, and the expectations of me, for the rest of my life.”
That’s from a chapter in which Tim walks us through his Green Beret training.
If you think the SEAL training is the toughest in the world, it’s time to learn more about Green Beret and Ranger training. (Tim describes both.)
They’re ALL insane.
So you know... One of the reasons I read (and share Notes on!) so many books by military leaders/special forces operators is to remind myself (and you!) of JUST HOW HARD these men and women work to protect our freedoms.
The challenges they must endure to earn the right to serve in the most elite forces is ineffably humbling and inspiring.
My Heroic Energy Identity in the app is “Disciplined SOF Athlete.” I chose that and recommit to being that best version of myself every day with guys like this in mind.
Here are a few ways Tim captures the standards to which his elite forces hold themselves that inspire ME to step up my game.
He tells us: “The entire military runs on the premise of Task, Condition, and Standard. You are given a task and a condition and you are expected to meet the standard. Special Forces operate on the premise of Task, Command, No Standard. In other words, the ‘standard’ is your best effort, every time.”
And: “Ranger School is hard but fair. There is one standard: Ranger Standard. You either meet the standard or you go home. This is a meritocracy. There’s no rank. There are no favors. There are no exceptions to the standard. It’s a simplicity I immediately respect.”
And: “As with all things, I didn’t do it until I got it right; I did it until I couldn’t get it wrong.”
And: “I generally live by the rule that you don’t rise to the moment but rather fall to the level of your training.”
How about YOU?
See any opportunities to step up your standards and close the gap between who you’re capable of being and who you’re actually being?
Me, too.
Let’s go.
Our plan has not been perfect, but it has been violent as f*ck. We’re taught over and over again that a good hasty plan executed violently is far better than a flawless detailed plan executed with hesitation.
Scars and Stripes
“In the Army, when you graduate from being a soldier to a noncommissioned officer, you earn the title of ‘Sergeant.’ In that moment, you earn your stripes, the upward-facing rockers that affix to your uniform. Those stripes are the symbol that shows you are a leader—that you assume responsibility for yourself and those around you.
It took me a lot to get there. It’s been a hard road. And every step of the way—every additional rank, every additional accomplishment, every great success—has required more of me. I have had to sacrifice more, suffer more, and yes, fail more.
Failure isn’t final. It’s necessary. It’s the fuel that allows you to advance, to succeed.
To earn those stripes, you need to earn those scars first.”
Those are the final words of the book.
Scars and stripes. ＜＜ The two go together.
More precisely, as Tim says: “To earn those stripes, you need to earn those scars first.”
Which, for the record, is why Paulo Coelho tells us that we need to wear our scars like MEDALS.
Here’s to using ALL of our challenges as fuel for our next-level growth. It’s time to move from Theory to Practice to Mastery and activate our Heroic potential together... TODAY.
P.S. Technically, THESE are the final words of the book—from the “Afterword” Tim wrote a year after the book was released: “I ended this book telling you that failure isn’t final. It isn’t. But the converse of that is also true. Success isn’t permanent. They are a yin and yang that complement each other. Failure breaks you down, and if you’re strong enough and resilient enough to stand up, success builds you back up.
So if you’re sitting around at a low point right now, and maybe looking around and thinking other people are farther along on their journey, or that maybe things haven’t gone your way, that’s okay. This moment—the one you’re living right now, the one that hurts, the one that is embarrassing—is the fuel that will lead you to your next great achievement.
But only if you let it. No, that’s wrong actually. Only if you take that fuel and make it happen.”
I want my students to be able to save lives—whether through self-defense or medical aid. That’s my chief motivation. That’s what I preach. I tell them it is their responsibility to help others. They are the sheepdogs watching their flocks.
About the authors
Tim Kennedy
