Reinventing Yourself

Those are the first words of the Introduction.

Want to Reinvent Yourself and, as per the sub-title of the book, “Become the Person You’ve Always Wanted to Be”?

Fantastic. Make a shift from being a “victim” to being what Steve calls an “owner”—which is very similar to what we’ve often described as going from being a victim to being a “creator.” (See Notes on The Power of TED* for more on David Emerald’s model.)

Of course, reinventing yourself by making a shift from victim to owner isn’t a flip the switch once and call it a day kinda thing. It’s a moment to moment to moment thing we’re pretty much constantly recommitting to.

Again, I repeat: There are no enlightened beings, only more or less enlightened moments. The trick is stringing more of those moments together and voila!

btw: This line jumped right out at me: “Just as your muscles shrink when they are not moving, so do your heart and soul when you are in victim mode.”

When I read the word “soul,” I imagined that inner daimon we’re always talking about. You know, the one Aristotle tells us we want to high five. The “good soul” that gives us eudaimonia. Well… If we’re constantly living from a victim perspective, it’s as if that beautiful, heroically strong daimon gets all atrophied and weak and tiny.

Want a big soul? Awesome. He or she is right there every moment of every day waiting to be put to work. All we need to do is make the shift from victim to owner. Let’s talk about how.

P.S. First, going back to Aristotle for a moment. Recall that in our Notes on his Nichomachean Ethics, we talked about how to have a GREAT soul. It’s a virtue known as “magnanimity” he describes in detail. The key? Well, you definitely need to be an owner. :)

I can still remember the coaching session in which Steve shared the essence of the wisdom from that passage. The way I remember him putting it (and that I share in this +1) was that victims are the kind of people who would go to the gym and lift STYROFOAM weights.

Yah, they’re at the gym. They’re going through the motions. But they’re lifting STYROFOAM!!! And, guess what? We’re not going to get any stronger unless we’re willing to lift REAL weights. Those challenges? <- Those are our weights!!

If we want to get stronger, we’d be wise to approach our challenges the same way an athlete approaches their workouts: KNOWING that’s PRECISELY (!!) how strength is created.

So… Got any challenges in your life? Are you getting all frustrated and acting like they shouldn’t be there? Then spending all your time *avoiding* taking action?

Let’s put down the Styrofoam weights. Pick up the real stuff. And get STRONG.

One rep at a time.

P.S. I love that Castaneda gem. We have a whole collection of them in our Notes on The Wheel of Light. (I just reread those Notes. Wow.) Here’s a favorite: “If his spirit is distorted he should simply fix it—purge it, make it perfect—because there is no other task in our entire lives which is more worthwhile… To seek the perfection of the warrior’s spirit is the only task worthy of our temporariness, our manhood.”

“Yes lives in the land of no.” <- I vividly remember when Steve taught me THAT lesson as well.

Let’s visualize that for a moment.

Draw a big circle on a piece of paper. Then a little circle inside the big one.

The big circle? That’s the land of “No.” That little circle? That’s the “Yes.” Very important thing to notice: The “Yes” lives within the land of “No.”

Therefore, Cap’n Obvious echo here: Let’s remember that if we want to get to Yes we MUST be willing to go through the land of No. Want success? We must be willing to experience failure.

Practically speaking, what big “YES!” are you hoping to get from life?

Got it? Awesome. Now, lace up your hiking shoes (I highly recommend Vivobarefoot ;) and start your trek through the land of No. See you at the Yes Oasis!

P.S. Another way Steve captured this for me back in the day was by citing Alan Watts who told us that some things so consistently “go with” another thing that we should have a word “goeswith.”

For example, night goeswith day. Light goeswith dark. Success goeswith failure.

And… Yes goeswith no.

How’s YOUR language?

You speaking Ownish or Victimese?

Seriously. Are you speaking like an owner or a victim?

We ALL fall into Victimese on occasion. Today’s mission: Let’s notice when we start thinking and talking like a victim and re-commit to mastering our new language.

btw: T Harv Eker came to mind as I reflected on that passage. In Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, he tells us: “You can be a victim or you can be rich, but you can’t be both. Listen up! Every time, and I mean every time, you blame, justify, or complain, you are slitting your financial throat.”

His whole book is, essentially, about making the shift from victim to owner. He also says: “If you want to create wealth, it is imperative that you believe that you are at the steering wheel of life, especially your financial life.”

Plus: “Poor people choose to play the role of the victim.”

And: “There is no such thing as a really rich victim.”

There’s a lot of brilliant wisdom in there.

First, have you talked yourself into the idea that you can’t do anything you’re afraid of doing? That being afraid of doing something is the same thing as being unable to do it? Remember: Action tends to generate courage. Not the other way around.

Second, let’s do that exercise. Two parts.

Part 1: Write down 10 things you would do in your life if you had absolutely NO fear.

1. __________________________________________
2. __________________________________________
3. __________________________________________
4. __________________________________________
5. __________________________________________
6. __________________________________________
7. __________________________________________
8. __________________________________________
9. __________________________________________
10. __________________________________________

Part 2. Now pick one of them to do.

And remember: Just because you get freaked out even THINKING about doing that thing doesn’t mean you can’t do it. In fact, Steve tells us that thinking about it is the problem.

Just get started doing it. Jump in with that ineffable feeling of both joy AND fear. Let’s see if the fear-salt dissolves in the river of action.

P.S. Phil talks about the whole relationship between thinking and doing as well. Obviously, we need to be thoughtful in the goals we choose to pursue. WOOP it, etc.

AND… We want to be mindful of how much we tend to want to THINK more than we want to DO. He says it’s like a beach ball you’re trying to hold under water. It keeps on wanting to pop up. Our job? Have fun keeping the ball under water by DOING what needs to be done. And notice when it squirts out and then pop it back under. :)

You’re camping. You light a fire, enjoy it for the night then wake up the next day. It’s out. You’ll need to start a new campfire tonight if you want to be warm. Do you complain about it and think something is inherently wrong with you or with the universe? Of course not.

Guess what? Our spirit is just like that. I know, I (laughing) can dislike that fact as well. I wish the good mood we create today could just burn forever but, alas, that’s not quite how it works.

Phil says something VERY similar. He tells us that, in the material world, if you make a chair today, it will be there tomorrow morning. BUT… That “spiritual” chair we made today? It needs to be remade EVERY DAY. Just like that campfire.

So… Moral of the chair by the campfire stories? If you wake up tomorrow morning and the inner fire is out, just get up and make a new fire.

Knowing that you know how to do THAT is the ultimate power and key to eudaimonia.

Here’s to your bonfire that warms up your world!