#1028 Serving vs. Pleasing

Goeswith Hatred and Misunderstanding

Phil Stutz and I recently celebrated our 3-year coaching anniversary. I think we’ve missed one of our weekly sessions since that very first one. 👯‍♂️ 🎉

As I’ve shared, the inches-thick stack of handwritten notes from our chats is one of my prized possessions.


As I’ve said before, I wish I kept what would have been my equally-thick stack of notes from my epic coaching chats with Steve Chandler.

In a recent chat with Phil, we talked about the fact that leadership often comes with what he calls “hatred and misunderstanding.” (In fact, as Steve would say, it “goeswith” it.)

Although we obviously don’t set out to deliberately create hatred and misunderstanding per se, when we have the courage to pursue our ideals and lead accordingly, we will, inevitability (!) elicit some hatred and misunderstanding from at least a minority of people (if not a lot more).

(Note: Some of the noblest souls we most admire lost their lives as a result of such “hatred and misunderstanding.” See: Socrates, Jesus, Gandhi, et al.)

Which brings us to another one of my favorite distinctions from my work with Steve.

He talks about “Pleasing vs. Serving.”

Here’s how he puts in his great book Crazy Good: “When I was a desperate, suicidal alcoholic and I came to your home and you made me a strong drink, you were pleasing me. If, instead, you took me to a Twelve-Step meeting you were serving me. There’s a big difference between pleasing and serving.

That’s Today’s +1.

Pleasing vs. Serving.

There’s a big difference between the two.

Let’s be mindful of the distinction as we lead courageously.


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