Letters from a Stoic

The modern word “stoic” is derived from the calm demeanor of the stoic philosopher. The philosophy itself, however, was named “stoicism” because its founder, Zeno (344-262 BCE), taught in a well-known stoa: a colonnade or porch.

Stoicism is one of three prominent philosophies of the Hellenistic era (the other two: Cynicism and Epicureanism). The philosophy was founded by Zeno about 300 BCE. (To put it in perspective, Plato founded the Academy in 385 BCE.) Although relatively obscure today, Stoicism was the dominant philosophy of the Western world for several centuries. It lost its prominence when the emperor Constantine declared Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire in the 4th Century.

That’s hilarious. And so true, eh?

Isn’t it amazing how we can spend so much of our time doing everything we can to please everyone around us and, at the end of the day, not even like ourselves. Eek!

So, Rule #1: Like who you are, what you do, etc. In short: Like yourself. :)

And, a *really* powerful mantra from Louise (founder of Hay House) Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life (see Notes) that I say many times a day when looking into the mirror: “I love and accept myself completely. I love and accept myself completely. I love and accept myself completely…”

Might sound a little wacky the first few times you say it but if you believe Louise (I definitely do), your opinion of yourself was most powerfully shaped when you were a child looking into the eyes of a parent or teacher. To re-program yourself most positively, therefore, it’s important to look yourself in the eye as you say your mantras (ideally, out loud).

(Give it a try. You’ll feel great. I promise. :)

First: Let’s define “pertinacity.”

It means: “Holding firmly to an opinion or a course of action” as in: “He worked with a pertinacious resistance to interruptions.”

So, we need to work with a stubbornness and strong discipline until our will power to do the right thing leads to a DISPOSITION of doing the right thing. Make sense? I love that.

Seneca also says: “How much better to pursue a straight course and eventually reach that destination where the things that are pleasant and the things that are honorable finally become, for you, the same.”

(THAT’S AMAZING!!) And, this is a good time to remember Aristotle’s wisdom that: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Love the fact that was said by a guy who lived 2,000 years ago.

(Apparently, multi-tasking and over-working have been around for awhile. :)

There are obviously a lot of ways we can look at this: from the frenzied pace we tend to live—running from one activity to another—to the constant juggling of projects in a never-ending loop of trying to do way more than possible and/or necessary.

So, I’ll ask: Are you being “everywhere” and therefore “nowhere”?

How can you slow down and experience the Power of Now?

Another thought comes to mind: Ken Wilber, the modern Integral Philosopher (see Notes), talks about the fact that we have what he calls “multiple lines of development” in our lives—from the spiritual line of development to the intellectual, creative, physical, social, family, moral, etc.

Obviously, we want to push all of our lines forward but Wilber likes to say, “Don’t be a metaphyscial glutton.”

Don’t try to develop ALL your lines at once.

Slow down, pick a line or two to work on and FOCUS.

In other words, “To be everywhere is to be nowhere.”

Quit looking outside yourself for God.

* points to you *

God’s in there! :)

Marcus Aurelius, another Stoic Philosopher (and Roman Emperor a hundred years after Nero), said something very similar in his classic Meditations (see Notes): “Everything – a horse, a vine – is created for some duty… For what task, then, were you yourself created? A man’s true delight is to do the things he was made for.”

While Abraham Maslow says: “Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are to be ultimately at peace with themselves. What human beings can be, they must be. They must be true to their own nature. This need we may call self-actualization… It refers to man’s desire for self-fulfilment, namely to the tendency for him to become actually in what he is potentially: to become everything one is capable of becoming.”

And Martin Seligman, the leader of the Positive Psychology movement and author of Authentic Happiness (see Notes), tells us that we’ll live a happy life when we discover and consistently use our “signature strengths.”

(If you haven’t taken his strengths assessment test yet, I HIGHLY recommend you join the nearly 1 million people who have at AuthenticHappiness.com.)

So, for what were YOU made? For what purpose were you born?

Do you know?

If so, are you living it?

If not, is your primary purpose to FIGURE OUT your purpose? (Please say, “Yes!” :)

We ALL have a purpose, a dharma, a call-it-what-you-want-but-we’re-here-to-fulfill-it! So, let’s get on that!

That’s classic. And so TRUE! (You may have noticed. :)

Just remember this thought from Seneca the next time you’re dealing with someone who’s struggling.

“Philosophy” and “Philosophers” have such a bad rap these days.

Somehow, it got away from its Greek roots and has become, for the most part, a topic reserved for (ahem) boring, crusty old (and dead) white guys.

Me thinks the classic Greeks and the Romans would have been disappointed.

Did you know the word “philosopher” literally means “lover of wisdom”—where wisdom means “knowledge of life”?!

Therefore, a “philosopher” is someone who is IN LOVE with learning how to live. NOT a Professor at a University droning on about pedantic stuff that has no recognizable practical application.

(I confess that I must still be getting over my “B” in my Classic Western Philosophy class at UCLA, but isn’t it remarkable how boring they can make Philosophy?!? And, even more frightening, how far from practical… :)

But, alas, back to Seneca.

You ask, what is the purpose of Philosophy? He answers: “Shall I tell you what philosophy holds out to humanity? Counsel… You are called in to help the unhappy.”

And how much of your time should you invest in studying Philosophy? Seneca advises: “When some state or other offered Alexander a part of its territory and half of all its property he told them that ‘he hadn’t come to Asia with the intention of accepting whatever they cared to give him, but of letting them keep whatever he chose to leave them.’ Philosophy, likewise, tells all other occupations: ‘It’s not my intention to accept whatever time is leftover from you; you shall have, instead, what I reject.’ Give your whole mind to her.”

So, let’s give all of our minds and hearts to the pursuit of wisdom and remember Philosophy’s power to blunt the blows of circumstance! :)

Obvious but often overlooked truth: To change a behavior, first we need to catch ourselves doing it!

I’ve been practicing removing certain things from my consciousness/thoughts/words/behaviors. Stuff like criticism (of others and myself), gossip, complaining, comparing, impatience, holding my breath, getting frustrated and other stuff that isn’t in line with my Highest Self.

Now, I’ve pretty much always known these things needed to go, but it wasn’t until I made it a practice to systematically remove them (and remind myself of the fact in my daily morning journaling) that I really had the CONSCIOUSNESS of wrongdoing.

Once I started writing down what I call “My NO’s!” every morning, I started SEEING all the times I’d start criticizing or gossiping or getting impatient or whatever. It is this ability to CATCH ourselves doing it that gives us the power to correct it.

So… what about you?!?

What “wrongdoing” do YOU need to start catching yourself doing so you can correct it?

(And what’re you waiting for?!? Get on that!! :)

Wow. That puts it in perspective.

Seneca dedicates quite a bit of energy to discussing death and the importance of honoring the fact that we’re ALL gonna die (sorry to break that to you :) so we might as well get clear on it (and in his words “rehearse” it!) so we can fully LIVE!

Ah! How great is that?!

Do you go to a play for how LONG it is going to last or HOW GOOD IT IS?!?

Same with our lives!!! Let’s quit worrying just how long it’s gonna be and focus on how well we play our part, shall we?!? :)

And remember: “Every day, therefore, should be regulated as if it were the one that brings up the rear, the one that rounds out and completes our lives.”

Deeply influenced by the classic Greek philosophers like Aristotle, the Stoics were/are all about self-control, self-mastery and virtuous living.

Reminds me of Aristotle’s “Virtuous Mean” from The Nicomachean Ethics:

“For both excessive and insufficient exercise destroy one’s strength, and both eating and drinking too much or too little destroy health, whereas the right quantity produces, increases or preserves it. So it is the same with temperance, courage and the other virtues… This much then, is clear: in all our conduct it is the mean that is to be commended.”

Aristotle establishes the fact that virtue lies between the vice of excess and the vice of deficiency. And Seneca reminds us here that “so-called pleasures,” when they go past a certain point, become punishments.

Powerful stuff.

Spotlight’s back on you: What PLEASURES in your life are you taking so far that they’ve become PUNISHMENTS? It could be drinking a bit too much, watching a bit too much TV (that would be just past any, btw… just kidding… mostlee :), eating too much, spending too much time online, whatever.

What is it for you? And how can you get back to the virtuous mean?

[And remember this the next time you go out hitting the bars: “Drunkenness is nothing but a self-induced state of insanity.”]

Again, Stoics were pretty bad-ass peeps.

They weren’t messing around with living virtuously! And, in this case, we’ve got Seneca reminding us that, AT TIMES, we need to be harsh with ourselves.

This does NOT mean, of course, that we need to go around like that albino monk from The da Vinci Code mutilating ourselves (ew). But it DOES mean that, at times, we need to give ourselves a Zen stick to the head and wake up from the bad habits that are dragging us down.

As with the virtuous mean chat above, there’s a virtuous mean here. TOO MUCH harshness is destructive—we’ll develop a sense of self-loathing that’s a weakness. Aristotle would consider it a vice of excess. TOO LITTLE harshness on the other hand, and we run the risk of being a self-contented (and usually self-righteous) ass. That would be a vice of deficiency.

The virtuous mean rests right there in the middle path—where we’re appropriately correcting our weaknesses WITHOUT self-criticism per se, just a nice firm look in the eye and a smile as we embody more and more of our ideals while burning out, as Rumi would say, the dross that clouds the silver.

Rumi: “This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold by boiling the scum away.”

Wow. Well, that pretty much solves it.

What dream of yours have you created a big ol’ story around? You know, the one that says your dream is too hard to bring to life. That it’s Impossible! Riiiiiiiiight.

REMEMBER! “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.”

So, what is it for you?

Dare ya to do it. :)