Active Love: Transform Your Relationships #55

Phil Stutz, my spiritual father and the single individual who’s had the most profound impact on how I live my life, teaches a profound practice called Active Love—a transformational tool to deepen your relationships and amplify your resilience.

Over the past 451 1-on-1 sessions with Phil (plus 212 for Michael and countless for Alexandra), we’ve all learned that love isn’t just a feeling—it’s an action. It’s something you choose to generate and give, even in the face of challenges.

Phil also emphasizes the importance of getting out of the Maze—the mental loops of blame, resentment, and overthinking—and into your heart. Active Love is how you escape the Maze and reconnect with what truly matters.

If you want to experience Phil’s wisdom firsthand, I highly recommend watching the documentary Stutz with Jonah Hill on Netflix. It’s an extraordinary introduction to his life-changing tools, including Active Love.

What Is Active Love?

Active Love is about moving beyond passive affection to actively sending love to others, even in difficult situations. It’s about:

1. Choosing Love Over Resentment. When you’re hurt or frustrated, you actively create love rather than dwelling on negativity.

2. Releasing Emotional Blockages. By practicing Active Love, you free yourself from grudges and focus on creating connection.

3. Amplifying Your Relationships. Love becomes a tool to strengthen bonds, even when life gets messy.

Why Active Love Matters

1. It Gets You Out of the Maze. The Maze keeps you stuck in cycles of blame and negativity. Active Love breaks those patterns, shifting your focus to your heart and the people who matter most.

2. It Builds Resilience. Choosing love in challenging moments strengthens your ability to face adversity with grace.

3. It Deepens Connection. Actively sending love, even to someone you’re struggling with, transforms relationships and builds trust.

The Heroic Elite Mindset

With Heroic Elite, we don’t wait for love to happen—we create it. Active Love is a daily practice, a choice to show up with generosity, empathy, and strength.

Action for Today

Practice Active Love:

1. Identify someone you’re struggling to connect with.

2. Close your eyes and visualize sending them love, wishing them well, and letting go of any negativity.

3. Take one small action today to express that love in a meaningful way.

Get out of the Maze. Get into your heart. Let’s go.

P.S. For more on this, check out the Philosopher’s Notes on:

• The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels
• Lessons for Living by Phil Stutz
• Coming Alive by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels
• Love 2.0 by Barbara Fredrickson