Tim S. Grover

When someone tells you they never feel nervous, or they have no fears, they’re either lying, or their challenges aren’t big enough.

Everything I’ve done with my clients has been the result of helping them close the gap between being the best, and being the best ever. Big difference between those two.

I know it’s not easy, but you can’t stay in your comfort zone and expect results. Challenge yourself. Don’t be afraid to be uncomfortable. We can’t help people committed to failure.

There are no secrets. There are no tricks. If anything, it’s the opposite: Whether you’re a pro athlete or a guy running a business or driving a truck or going to school, it’s simple. Ask yourself where you are now, and where you want to be instead. Ask yourself what you’re willing to do to get there. Then make a plan. Act on it. There are no shortcuts.

So just for my own thinking, I devised a three-tiered system that I’ve never shared with anyone prior to writing this book, categorizing different types of competitors: Coolers, Closers, Cleaners. Good, Great, Unstoppable. You can apply these standards to any group of individuals; just look around your team, your office, your friends, your family.

You want an exercise on how to delete what you don’t need? Work with this: Everyone has this one muscle that’s essential to focusing, prioritizing, and ultimately winning. You can’t see it, you can’t show it off under your clothes. It’s internal: the IDGAF muscle. The medically correct term is the I Don’t Give a F*ck Muscle.

Winners have one fear, and it isn’t about losing. They can come back from a loss, they can find another way to win. They fear not having enough time. Not enough days, weeks, months, and years to complete their life’s work.

Bottom line if you want success of any kind: you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Every time you think you can’t, you have to do it anyway. That last mile, the last set, the last five minutes on the clock. You have to play the last game of the season with the same intensity as you played the first. When your body is screaming and depleted and telling you, ‘No way asshole,’ you work harder and tell yourself, ‘Do it. Now.’

Whatever you dream for yourself, whatever you’re chasing, stay with it. Believe in it. Fight for it like your life depends on it, because it does. Winning is watching. It’s waiting for you at the finish line, with a message: Welcome. The race is over. The price has been paid. For now.

We’re all flawed. Confident people don’t hide their flaws; they laugh at them, because they don’t care what you think. Those flaws work for them. They don’t have to work for you.

Fear shows up on its own. Doubt has to be invited. Fear heightens your awareness; it makes you alert. Doubt is the opposite; it slows you down and paralyzes your thinking. Fear is about playing to win. Doubt is playing not to lose.

Believe this: Everything you need to be great is already inside you. All your ambitions and secrets, your darkest dreams . . . they’re waiting for you to just let go. What’s stopping you?

I don’t understand the concept of failure. If you don’t succeed at everything you do on your first attempt, does that mean you ‘failed’? Isn’t it a good thing that you keep coming back and working at it until you succeed? How can that be a failure?

Being relentless means never being satisfied. It means creating new goals every time you reach your personal best. If you’re good, it means you don’t stop until you’re great. If you’re great, it means you fight until you’re unstoppable.

There’s nothing normal about Winning. If you need normal, if you need to fit in, be prepared for a long stay in the middle of the pack. Winning requires you to be different, and different scares people.

Cleaner Law: surround yourself with those who want you to succeed, who recognize what it takes to be successful. People who don’t pursue their own dreams probably won’t encourage you to pursue yours; they’ll tell you every negative thing they tell themselves.

You can be good playing it safe. You can’t be relentless unless you’re willing to take chances. Safe makes you good, chances make you great.

Again: Can you be the best? Of course you can. Then why are you still questioning your ability to do it? Quick answer: because at some point, you made something simple into something complicated, and you stopped trusting yourself.

You can’t win if you can’t gamble on yourself, and you can’t gamble if you don’t believe you can win. Winning requires you to set unrealistic goals, and expect to achieve them.