10 Rules for Resilience

Those are the 10 Rules for Resilience.

Each Rule gets its own chapter. We’ll discuss a few of my favorites in a moment. First, I want to say that any time I hear the word “resilience,” I think of something even more powerful: ANTIFRAGILITY.

As we’ve discussed many times, in his great book Antifragile, Nassim Taleb walks us through the fact that there’s a big difference between being fragile, being resilient, and being ANTIfragile.

In short: If you’re fragile and life hits you hard, you break. If you’re resilient and life hits you hard, you withstand more and… eventually… you break. But… If you’re ANTIFRAGILE, when life hits you hard you actually get stronger.

Think about that. The more you get kicked around and challenged by life, the S T R O N G E R you get. Wouldn’t that be awesome? As Nassim tells us and we would be wise to remember: “A wind extinguishes a candle but fuels a fire.”

THAT is what this book is all about and THAT is why we have our Heroic Coaches do a Spartan Race to graduate. Obstacles, when approached with the right mindset, can literally make us stronger. Let’s build a bonfire. And use all of life’s challenges as fuel for our growth.

P.S. Joe interviewed me at the Spartan World Championships a few years ago. I told him about our Spartan-inspired, Heroic mantra: OMMS! As in: Obstacles Make Me Stronger. #OMMS!!!

That’s from chapter #1 on Rule #1: “You Can’t Until You Can.”

Joe tells us that we need to push beyond our comfort zones so we can create data showing ourselves the fact that we can do A LOT more than we may think we can.

You know what Joe’s co-author, Dr. Lara Pence, calls those times in our lives when we pushed through fear and showed up as our best, most Heroic selves?

“Resilience data points.”

David Goggins calls those resilience data points the “Cookie Jar.”

Here’s how he puts it in his great book Can’t Hurt Me: “That’s one reason I invented the Cookie Jar. We must create a system that constantly reminds us who the f*** we are when we are at our best, because life is not going to pick us up when we fall. There will be forks in the road, knives in your f****** back, mountains to climb, and we are only capable of living up to the image we create for ourselves.”

I like to call those resilience data points Hero Bars.

We want to have a pantry full of those Hero Bars we can use as fuel for our Heroic quests.

And...

We want to remember how Hero Bars are made—especially when we’re in the process of cooking a new batch. We’ve gotta remember that the main ingredients of Hero Bars are huge challenges. Other ingredients include blood, sweat and tears. They’re SALTY. They’re made at high heat in the forge of life and they’re often cooked over sleepless nights.

So...

Back to Joe’s question: “Which will you choose? The voice that tells you ‘Don’t do it. You probably can’t,’ or the one that says, ‘You’ve got this. Why not?’ I know which one I listen to, and it’s served me pretty well in life. It’s not always easy, but easy doesn’t reveal greatness.”

And, remember: This is relevant for our families because if WE aren’t pushing past our fears, there’s NO WAY we’re going to be in a position to help our kids push past theirs. Period.

That’s from the chapter on Rule #4: “Live Your Values.”

I smiled as I read that. It’s pretty much the PERFECT description of how we architected the Target Practice part of our Heroic app and why we’re so excited to be the official wellness app for Spartan.

As you know if you’ve set up your Big 3 protocol and started hitting some Targets, the Heroic app is ALL about helping you get clarity on who you are at your best, what virtues you embody when you show up like that best version of you and, most importantly, what you will actually do TODAY to be in integrity with that best version of yourself.

btw: You know what Joe talks about a few pages after that paragraph?

He helps us get clarity on the virtues that best version of you embodies.

Then you know what he does?

He helps us figure out how each core value plays out in your life.

He tells us to “Think about your relationships, family, and loved ones. Think about work, achievement, and money. Think about health, fitness, and food.”

EXACTLY.

We’d call that your Big 3: Energy + Work + Love.

A great life is simple. It all comes down to getting clarity on who you are at your best in your Energy, Work and Love. KNOWING what virtues that best version of you embodies. Then DOING the things you know you could be doing to show up and give us all you’ve got.

Here’s to closing the gap between who we’re CAPABLE of being and who we’re ACTUALLY being so we can show up and give the world all we’ve got.

Helping YOU do THAT is how we will fulfill OUR Heroic mission to help create a world in which 51% of humanity is flourishing by 2051.

Day 1. Always. Let’s go, Hero!

P.S. Rule #6 is “Dedicate to a Daily Routine.” Joe tells us: “Real change starts with structure. The best thing you can do if you want to be someone who is more tolerant of discomfort, more willing to lean in to what’s tough when others lean out, and more healthy overall, is to find a daily routine, set up a schedule, and stick to it. Write it down. Force yourself to do it.”

To which I say: Amen. Only, I’d say: Don’t just write it down. Set up your protocol in the Heroic app then dominate those Targets ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Starting Today.

Joe also says: “The best antidote I’ve found for endless worry and anxiety is a commitment to the mundane tasks of a daily routine.”

To which I also say: Amen. If we want to forge antifragile confidence and fulfill our Heroic potential, we need to remember to be MOST committed to our protocol when we feel MOST challenged by life and all its obstacles. This is why I hit 101 Targets to keep my daimon in play and why early research shows that hitting as few as 3 targets per day is enough to boost your energy by 40% (!), your productivity by 20% (!) and your connection by 15% (!).

Why do YOU do what you do?

Newsflash: The Instagram selfie of you and your six-pack abs in front of your mansion isn’t going to fulfill you.

Our discipline MUST be aimed at serving something bigger than ourselves—to, as Jocko and Joe would say: making a mark on the world.

As I read that, I thought of Jocko’s incredible Soul Force. Check out the Notes on Discipline Equals Freedom AND Extreme Ownership.

I also thought of Christopher McDougall and his wisdom in Natural Born Heroes. McDougall is the one who taught me the true meaning of the word hero.

He tells us: “And what Plutarch taught them is this: Heroes care. True heroism, as the ancients understood, isn’t about strength, or boldness, or even courage. It’s about compassion. When the Greeks created the heroic ideal, they didn’t choose a word that meant ‘Dies Trying’ or ‘Massacres Bad Guy.’ They went with hērōs—‘protector.’”

McDougall also introduced me Georges Hébert who tells us that we should strive to be fit for one simple reason: TO BE USEFUL.

McDougall tells us: “Hébert, consequently, came up with the strangest mission statement ever devised for getting in shape. He called it Méthode Naturelle—the Natural Method—and it would be ruled by a five-word credo that had zero to do with getting ripped, getting thin, or going for gold. In fact, it had zero to do with ‘getting’ anything; Hébert was heading the opposite direction.

‘Etre fort pour etre utile,’ Hébert declared. ‘Be fit to be useful.’ It was brilliant, really. In those final two words, Hébert came up with a complete philosophy for life. No matter who you are, no matter what you’re seeking or hope to leave behind after your time on the planet—is there any better approach than simply to be useful? ‘Here is the great duty of man to himself, to his family, to his homeland and to humanity,’ Hébert writes. ‘Only the strong will prove useful in difficult circumstances of life.’”

Why do we eat well, bang out burpees, sleep well, breathe right, focus our minds and put our virtues in action? Simple. I repeat: We get fit TO BE USEFUL. Not someday. TODAY.

EVERYBODY feels fear. Period. The question is: What do we do when we feel it? Can we flip the switch and put Aristotle’s #1 virtue of COURAGE into action?

We need to know that, as Robert Biswas-Diener tells us in The Courage Quotient, courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the WILLINGNESS TO ACT IN THE PRESENCE OF FEAR.

Grant Cardone echoes Joe’s wisdom in The 10x Rule where he tells us that we need to starve fear of its favorite food: TIME. Don’t allow it to nail your feet to the floor. How? “Rather than seeing fear as a sign to run—as most other people do—it must become an indicator to go.”

Then there’s Adam Grant. In Originals he tells us: “Instead of hitting the stop switch, we can motivate ourselves to act in the face of fear by pressing the go switch. ... We can step on the gas by focusing on reasons to move forward—the sliver of excitement that we feel about breaking loose and singing our song.”

Then there’s Bob Rotella. In How Champions Think he tells us: “People who go for greatness are going to get knocked down a lot. They’ll have difficult times. They’ll struggle with doubt and uncertainty. People around them will question the wisdom of their quest. The issue is not whether you’ll fail, because you will. It’s whether you’ll get back up and keep going. It’s whether you can sustain your self-confidence and your belief in yourself and keep bouncing back. Failure is only final when you stop striving.”

Again: Fear isn’t going away. Not when we choose to step up and TRULY go for it. When we do that, the fear gremlins are going to get LOUDER not quieter. Perfect. We know we have what it takes to meet ANY and all challenges that come our way as we use it ALL as fuel to make our mark on the world.

Here’s to moving from Theory to Practice to Mastery Together TODAY, Hero.

All in. Let’s go!