In our last couple +1s, we’ve been talking about Jon Gottman and his wisdom on how to make a marriage work.
We’ve been focused on one aspect of the third of his seven principles: Turning toward our partners by responding to their bids.
Of course, responding to bids doesn’t just apply to MARRIAGES.
It also applies to ALL RELATIONSHIPS.
Today we’re going to talk about a little Kid Bid Algorithm I’ve been working on.
I’m in charge of dominating our kitchen. We love having a nice clean kitchen at the end of the night. Alexandra does so (🤯) much to make our family life awesome that this is a tiny way to give back and rock it.
Oftentimes, Emerson will be making “bids” for my attention while I’m cleaning and it’s humbling to notice how often I choose THE DISHES over him.
(Just typing that makes me wince. Oh, the power of vulnerability as a tool for transformation!)
The dishes need to and will get done.
My son is more important.
Enter: My new Kid Bid Algorithm.
IF I’m doing the dishes and Emerson makes a bid for my attention…
THEN I will respond to that bid and give him my attention.
(It’s funny because as I typed that I realized there’s another algorithm that helps address this particular challenge in a potentially even more elegantly well-stacked way: IF I’m doing dishes, THEN Emerson and I are having fun doing them TOGETHER.)
Spotlight on you.
Are they making any bids that you might not be noticing/effectively responding to?
All good. Noticing is the first step in Optimizing.
What’s ONE Kid Bid Algorithm you can get to work installing TODAY?
For the Dad or Mom of the Year Win!