The Secret to Deeper Connections #52

John Gottman, one of the world’s top relationship experts, can predict with 90% accuracy whether a relationship will thrive or fail—just by watching how people respond to bids for connection.

A bid is a simple request for attention, affection, or acknowledgment:

• “Look at this sunset.”
• A child showing you a drawing.
• A friend sharing something about their day.

How you respond to these moments shapes your relationships.

• Turning Toward → You engage and acknowledge.
• Turning Away → You ignore or dismiss.
• Turning Against → You react with irritation or criticism.

Gottman’s research is clear: The strongest relationships are built by consistently turning toward bids. Every time you do, you reinforce trust and connection.

“Hey Daddy!” is the most powerful cue/trigger/prompt for me. There is a bid. Let me turn toward it and respond.

The Heroic Elite Mindset

Love isn’t built in grand gestures—it’s built in small moments.

With Heroic Elite, we train ourselves to see bids and turn toward them with presence and appreciation.

Every moment is a chance to connect. Don’t miss it.

Action for Today

1. Notice the bids around you—verbal and nonverbal.

2. Turn toward. Engage with presence, acknowledgment, and love.

3. Watch the impact. Small moments create lasting bonds.

Relationships are built one bid at a time.

P.S. For more on this, check out the Philosopher’s Notes on:

• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
• Love 2.0 by Barbara Fredrickson